New Hampshire Underground

Endless Debate and Whining => Endless Debate and Whining => Childish Board => Topic started by: Friday on November 28, 2008, 10:55 AM NHFT

Title: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on November 28, 2008, 10:55 AM NHFT
Become a Chimpanzee Guardian

Dear All,

Please consider giving Puke the gift of a Chimpanzee Guardianship this holiday season.  Your support will help us shelter chimpanzees like Kauka and Vichika whose families were killed by poachers. The chimpanzees at Tchimpounga had a traumatic start to life but, with the support of people like you, they can be nurtured back to health and happiness.

Please help us give orphaned chimpanzees at Tchimpounga nutritious diets, TLC and the chance to roam the forest, feel the sun on their backs and play with other chimps.

Your gift of a Chimp Guardianship will not only delight Puke —it will mean the world to all of us here at Tchimpounga.

Best wishes,

     

Rebeca Atencia
Veterinarian & Sanctuary Manager
Jane Goodall Institute´s Tchimpounga Sanctuary


PS: Did you know that you can also make Puke a Chimp Guardian for only $25?
It´s simple, safe and secure. You can get started by clicking here. (http://e2ma.net/go/1510869021/1378553/50628126/goto:http://www.janegoodall.org/chimp_guardian/ChimpG-EM.asp)
:munky2: :munky2: :munky2: :munky2: :munky2: :munky2: :munky2:
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: dalebert on November 28, 2008, 11:22 AM NHFT
You're a little bit evil, Friday.  >:D
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Tom Sawyer on November 28, 2008, 11:45 AM NHFT
 ;D

I have tried to be tolerant of Sir Pukes anti-primate bigotry, but the fact that my family had a primate behind the woodpile so to speak, makes his insensitivity especially difficult.

William's heritage is evident...

(http://arafwchnawr.com/images/DSCN3249-monkey-boy.jpg)
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Kat Kanning on November 28, 2008, 11:59 AM NHFT
LOL @ the little monkey.

When I saw the subject line, I expected something like this:

Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on November 28, 2008, 04:51 PM NHFT
Damn you all!
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Pat K on November 28, 2008, 05:58 PM NHFT
LOL! +1
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on November 28, 2008, 07:43 PM NHFT
The Sunday Times, May 16 1999 EUROPE - http://bushmeat.net/chimpsonmenu599.htm
Bushmeat chops a favourite in some backstreet cafes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CHIMPANZEES and monkeys are being served up as delicacies at restaurants in the heart of Europe, an investigation has revealed.
Some of Man's closest relatives are being cooked for dining tables in Brussels even though two years ago the European Union declared that it would crack down on the illegal trade in what is known as "bushmeat".

Great apes, some of which differ from humans in only 2% of their genetic make-up, are also on the menu in Antwerp and other large cities, according to sources in the restaurant trade.

Earlier this month at the Cité Mont-Fleury restaurant, which serves Congolese cuisine in the Etaings Noir district of Brussels, the waitress did not hesitate when an undercover reporter asked whether monkey meat was available. "Yes, we have it," she said.

Forty-five minutes later the dish arrived, an array of skinless pieces of meat in a greeny-brown ragout of African vegetables with rice. The meat smelt strongly of being smoked. A customer passing the table recognised the dish as monkey and the restaurant listed the meal as makaku - monkey - on the bill.

The stew was not eaten but sent for analysis last week at the veterinary department at Ghent University. Tests confirmed that it came from a primate and that it contained bones from the elbow and forearm. Hunters had shot the animal: four lead pellets were lodged in the muscle and bone.

The waitress later said the meat had been brought to Belgium by her cousin from the Congo and that the restaurant received supplies every few months. "Customers telephone to know when we will have it next," she said. "In Africa people eat monkeys, so why can they not eat them here?"

At another restaurant in the backstreets, a waiter showed the menu to a reporter and his companion and said: "We also have other dishes: the chimpanzee is very tasty, if you like that type of thing."

In such restaurants four or five matchbox-sized chunks of meat, served with a sauce and fou fou (a floury African staple), cost anything up to £40.

Eating chimpanzee or monkey is a sign of status among the black community and reminds expatriates of home. One Nigerian man said: "Some people from eastern Africa would not live here if they could not get the meat." Favoured recipes include cooking monkey in white wine or with peanut sauce.

"It is horrific that the trade in bushmeat has turned up in Europe," said Steve Brend, the British representative of the International Primate Protection League. "It is undoubtedly the greatest threat to the great apes."

One man who claimed to know Belgian traders importing the illegal meat said that some had been sold to other European countries including Britain.

After steep declines in their numbers, all apes are protected by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (Cites), and any trade in higher primates, such as chimpanzees, is banned. The chimp population in Africa has collapsed by more than 90% this century and is now estimated to be less than 130,000.

But chimpanzees are not safe from the trade in bushmeat. Last month, after a tipoff, armed police and health officials raided 12 African food shops in the Matongé area of Brussels. They were checking hygiene standards and tax evasion but found far worse: in one shop two dead chimpanzees were hanging from the ceiling in a store room. They had been skinned, gutted, dried and salted.

"It was horrible. They were immediately recognisable as chimpanzees," said Sagairadji Chevremont, an officer who took part in the operation. Other primate meat, two antelopes and tortoises, which are also regarded as choice morsels, were recovered.

The Congolese woman who ran the shop was unabashed. "We had antelopes, porcupines and snakeskins and monkey meat," she said. Two chimps were on the premises, she admitted, but were not for sale. "It is something we want to eat with our family for special occasions."

Demand by European residents and the activities of Western companies in Africa is expanding the illegal trade, according to environmental groups.

The Ape Alliance, an umbrella group of conservation organisations, says logging of Africa forests by European and Asian companies has opened up remote areas to poachers. Animals once hunted by locals for subsistence have become profitable to smugglers.

The scandal presents deadly risks to the health of humans as well as our evolutionary cousins. Two years ago the eating of chimpanzee meat in Gabon was blamed for an outbreak of ebola, the highly infectious fever. More than 20 people died. Chimpanzees may also be the source of the virus that leads to Aids.

Despite the evidence on its own doorstep of an illegal trade and possible danger to public health, the European Union appears ineffectual. Ten days ago Tony Cunningham, a British MEP who had questioned what was being done to protect great apes after the earlier European resolution, was told that the EU was aware of the grave threats to great apes and "action has been taken to remedy this". No details were given.

Ann DeGrees, director of Global Action, an animal rights group in Brussels, said: "It is completely unacceptable that this meat is on sale. The state has not done enough to stop the smuggling."

Copyright © 1999 Times Newspapers Ltd
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on December 02, 2008, 08:18 PM NHFT
Puke, you heartless bastard!  Just look at these little guys... they're like people.  Short, hairy people.  Look at the nice man lie on the ground with the chimps.  Watch the chimps check him for lice.  Is your heart melting yet?   :munky2:

http://www.janegoodall.org/chimp_guardian/video.asp (http://www.janegoodall.org/chimp_guardian/video.asp)
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on December 03, 2008, 05:12 AM NHFT
And just like people they can rip your arms off with slightest provocation!

Or is that Wookies?
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: dalebert on December 03, 2008, 08:11 AM NHFT
Quote from: Puke on December 03, 2008, 05:12 AM NHFT
And just like people they can rip your arms off with slightest provocation!

Or is that Wookies?

Both.
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: JJ on December 03, 2008, 10:56 AM NHFT
wow Sandy is becoming wicked wicked. 












ha ha ah get it because they say wicked here in new england and it also means....  you get it...   yeah.  funny eh..   good stuff.  only the good stuff here.   yeah um i think the postscript is done.  hell it was done awhile ago. 
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: grasshopper on December 05, 2008, 08:44 AM NHFT
  That story horrified me.  That is terrable.
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on December 05, 2008, 03:04 PM NHFT
Quote from: grasshopper on December 05, 2008, 08:44 AM NHFT
  That story horrified me.  That is terrable.

Terribly delicious!  >:D
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on December 18, 2008, 02:58 PM NHFT
Today I received an email from the Jane Goodall Institute entitled "Sad News".  Oh no, I thought, Jane kicked the bucket.  But no, it's much, much worse than that. 

Quote
It's with sadness that we write to tell you that a special friend passed away yesterday. You may already be familiar with Gregoire - the oldest living chimpanzee in Africa and a celebrity throughout the Congo.

He was the best known of the more than 140 chimpanzees living at JGI's Tchimpounga Chimpanzee Rehabilitation Center - a sanctuary for chimpanzees orphaned by the illegal commercial bushmeat trade. In fact, he was something of an international celebrity, having been on the cover of National Geographic and featured in Animal Planet and BBC television specials.

Gregoire was also a study in resilience, having survived more than 40 years of solitary display in a barren cage at a zoo and then an airlift during a civil war.

More than anything, however, Gregoire was a beloved personality, known for his playfulness even far into old age and a mellow disposition. We'll miss him, but we are so happy to have been able to help him find companionship and contentment in his twilight years.

He is one example of the ways we are making a difference for people, animals and the environment.
Puke, let me know if you need the hyperlink to send Jane a message of condolence.  :'(
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Pat K on December 18, 2008, 03:23 PM NHFT
An update to this story.

He died when he hit his head,
after slipping on a Banana peel!
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on December 18, 2008, 06:48 PM NHFT
He'll fling poo no more!
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: KBCraig on December 27, 2008, 04:01 PM NHFT
(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/funny-pictures-never-turn-your-back-on-monkeys.jpg)
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on January 22, 2009, 08:05 PM NHFT
Puke, you're just so darned easy to shop for!  :D

Monkey Groan Ball
http://www.officeplayground.com/monkeygroan.html (http://www.officeplayground.com/monkeygroan.html)

And this one's for Dale; just put some poo in its hand:

Slingshot Flying Monkey
http://www.officeplayground.com/flyingmonkey.html (http://www.officeplayground.com/flyingmonkey.html)
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: dalebert on January 22, 2009, 08:47 PM NHFT
Quote from: Friday on January 22, 2009, 08:05 PM NHFT
Slingshot Flying Monkey
http://www.officeplayground.com/flyingmonkey.html (http://www.officeplayground.com/flyingmonkey.html)

Wow, just $5! That's cute.
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Becky Thatcher on January 22, 2009, 09:17 PM NHFT
The prez has a couple of those.  They are cute.  They scream like howler monkeys when they fly through the air.   :D
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Lloyd Danforth on January 22, 2009, 09:40 PM NHFT
My sister has one and has stressed me and her cats out with it.
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on January 23, 2009, 05:12 AM NHFT
That monkey groan ball will give me nightmares for days.
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: dalebert on January 23, 2009, 08:45 AM NHFT
Quote from: Puke on January 23, 2009, 05:12 AM NHFT
That monkey groan ball will give me nightmares for days.

That nips it. I think we know what to get Puke at the next gift-giving opportunity.  ;D >:D
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on February 17, 2009, 08:32 PM NHFT
Puke was right: chimps are not our friends.  Please don't try bringing one home, giving it a human name, and feeding it Xanax.   :munky2:

(CNN) -- A woman has been hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after a pet chimpanzee attacked her at a friend's home in Stamford, Connecticut, police said.

Charla Nash, 55, had just arrived at her friend Sandra Herold's house when the chimp, named Travis, jumped on her and began biting and mauling her, causing serious injuries to her face, neck and hands, according to Stamford Police Capt. Rich Conklin, who said the attack was unprovoked.

Herold had called Nash to her house to help get 14-year-old Travis back inside after he used a key to escape.

While her friend was being attacked, Herold tried to pull the primate off her, but was unsuccessful.

She then called 911 before stabbing the chimp with butcher knife and hitting him with a shovel. Neither fazed Travis, who police said was like a child to Herold.

Stamford police later shot the chimp multiple times after he attacked an officer inside a police cruiser, Conklin said.

Travis returned to the house, where police later found him dead. Conklin estimated that Travis weighed close to 200 pounds.

The police captain also said this isn't the first interaction his officers have had with Travis; the chimp escaped in 2003 and "wreaked havoc" on the streets of Stamford for a couple of hours. Video Watch video of Travis from 2003 »
Don't Miss


In 2005, a different chimp escaped from California's Animal Haven Ranch and chewed off a man's nose and genitals.   :o

During an interview after that attack, wildlife expert Jeff Corwin told CNN's Anderson Cooper that chimpanzees are "absolutely powerful." Video Watch Corwin explain why chimps don't make good pets »
advertisement

"It's often said that an adult chimpanzee weighing in at 150 pounds is three to seven times stronger than a human being," Corwin said.

"The thing about chimpanzees is, we sort of look at them through our rose-colored cultural glasses of the cute little chimp in the 'Tarzan' movie. Those are very young chimps. Chimps grow up, they become very powerful. They are very complex in their behavior. They have a whole range of emotions, including violence and anger."
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Moebius Tripp on February 18, 2009, 03:26 AM NHFT
They organize for warfare, commit murder, use tools and weapons, will hold a grudge indefinitely, and when they "smile" they are showing their teeth, not expressing mirth.  ;D
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on February 18, 2009, 05:20 AM NHFT
I tried to warn you.
Primates, all of them, are pure evil.


Except for bonobos, those are so cuuute!
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on March 06, 2009, 07:05 PM NHFT
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Puke!   :icon_pirat:   :_The_Leprechaun_Life__by_Jord :occasion14:

Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on March 08, 2009, 07:47 AM NHFT
Just...just so goddamned ridiculous.  :pout:
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Tom Sawyer on March 08, 2009, 08:43 AM NHFT
Ahhh, but your annoyance is our entertainment. ;D  >:D

William laughed and laughed over the "River Dance Monkeys".  :D
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Sam A. Robrin on March 08, 2009, 01:24 PM NHFT
Quote from: Tom Sawyer on March 08, 2009, 08:43 AM NHFT
Ahhh, but your annoyance is our entertainment. ;D  >:D

William laughed and laughed over the "River Dance Monkeys".  :D

If he liked that, he'll love this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Uw03hS_EMY
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Lloyd Danforth on March 09, 2009, 07:13 AM NHFT
A little subtle for today.  Kovacs(with the cigar) was a genius in early TV.
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: KBCraig on March 10, 2009, 01:46 AM NHFT
It gets worse: chimps are planning ahead (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090309/D96QN3P01.html) and stockpiling weapons (http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/mar/09/chimp-zoo-stones-science)!
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on May 24, 2009, 10:14 AM NHFT
I encourage everyone to sign this petition (http://www.janegoodall.org/CaptivePrimatesAct/).  Spare Puke the agony of viewing chimpanzees in little outfits! 
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on May 24, 2009, 01:05 PM NHFT
Quote from: Friday on May 24, 2009, 10:14 AM NHFT
I encourage everyone to sign this petition (http://www.janegoodall.org/CaptivePrimatesAct/).  Spare Puke the agony of viewing chimpanzees in little outfits! 

Finally! A cause I can get behind.  :D
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: KBCraig on June 30, 2009, 02:15 AM NHFT
http://www.yubby.com/channel/player/2588/44591
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on July 26, 2009, 02:29 PM NHFT
Guaranteed to give Puke nightmares (watch video):  Rolling Laughing Monkeys (http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/bc30/?cpg=98H)
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: KBCraig on July 27, 2009, 04:28 AM NHFT
Baboons win:

http://failblog.org/2009/07/26/baboon-win/
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/fail-owned-baboon-win.jpg?w=500&h=311)

Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Puke on July 27, 2009, 05:03 AM NHFT
Why do you hate me so much?  :'(
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Pat McCotter on July 27, 2009, 06:37 AM NHFT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCQtbLngkmM
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: KBCraig on July 27, 2009, 01:38 PM NHFT
In all of monkeydom, baboons and macaques are the nastiest of all.
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Friday on July 27, 2009, 06:41 PM NHFT
Quote from: Puke on July 27, 2009, 05:03 AM NHFT
Why do you hate me so much?  :'(

I guess this means you wouldn't appreciate receiving a JGI e-card (http://www.janegoodall.org/action-send-e-card)?    :angel4:
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: Pat McCotter on July 27, 2009, 07:39 PM NHFT
 :clap:
Title: Re: a special Xmas gift for Puke
Post by: KBCraig on September 11, 2009, 05:30 AM NHFT
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/09/10/funny-pictures-in-the-barrel/

(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/funny-pictures-cat-hates-monkeys.jpg)