8) Just hopeless: No roads left
Sixty year-old and the feelings never leave. I want to write positive to inspire the best to come out in people. I feel like every way to come back has completely ended. I realize that sounds stupid but is that not what you are trying to tell me mentally PTSD combat related citizens are? I hear danger being called every time but no one is there. Communication in this civilized society does not exist for US Military Veterans that got on the wrong side of this society. So deep in my own conflict I sat for hours far into the night looking at the ceiling wondering is this really back or should I just kill myself in this foreign nation. Who knows where this convoy will take us today. The mind where PTSD complicated by TBI takes us to places no man or women should ever go.
My wife and daughters have gone on an over night hike. The VA refuses my request for help. NH and the VA have conspired to stop my medical care for combat related disabilities until I stop writing opinion letters of government wrongs. If the VA suicide hotline calls talking to them will justify there calling the law enforcement to take my freedom under the term safety of the community. I could not talk to my wife anyway for she would just worry for something that is and cannot be changed. Sixty year-old and these feeling never leave.
Communication in a civilized society ends when the editors believe they can censor facts using the term safety of the community. What right does any individual have to decide which citizen should have rights and which not? The NH Supreme Court violated the Constitution and the news media refuses to inform the public. I have no rights for coming back was wrong. The NH Government and VA conspire to stop the flow of public information as a safety factor for the community. The harm of my stepping out of this benjo ditch and lighting up the gook patrol is my death. Left deep in the bush where even my command does not know for I is American Advisor on Convoy delivering surplus supplies to friendly posts.
Today is the start of a different day. This first part is what I must have written while in a different world. I find it disturbing to think there are homeless US Military Veterans in the same or worse mindset. My wanting to go out and start cutting trees on the Veteran Resort-Chapel site even with my broken back and other service-connected disabilities. The pain will be worth it if just helping one of the 600 homeless US Military Veterans in NH alone will have a safe comfortable place for the rest of their natural life. It is an up hill battle as the local and state newspapers believe it is for the safety of the community my life is ended.
Sixty years old and these feelings never leave. Think of the US Military Veterans coming home today and in the future. They will be treated the same or worse for this civilized society believe they are doing good wasting tax dollars on NH VA facilities as Kelly Anotte and Shea-Porter want to do. Political pet projects do more harm to US Military Veterans and no one in this civilized society sees.
Veterans helping Veterans and you censor our words. Tell me why? Sixty years old and you stop my medical care yet tell the public what a danger.
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi
465 Packers falls rd Lee NH 03824 603-781-3839