IRMO: Russell Kanning and CHSUP

[RussellsEx]

When a person's life is characterized by everything they are 'against', what are they really FOR? It must be themselves....as nothing else will do.

I want so badly for there to be resolution...I believed all along we could have had that..peaceably, without court, but he would not listen to me then. What else could I have done?

Russell had always been a moral person in lots of other ways, but the minute he had to contribute, it became immoral to do so.

And your earlier posts were correct...he didn't have to marry..have children..but he did. So why do so many proclaim him innocent?

[kola]

about dna stuff, you raised good points malcom. thanks. 

russells ex, do you think the government is doing the right thing by jailing russell and demanding he pay you money?

It appears you have been supporting yourself just fine for all these years withour him. Why do you need "backpay" money? Did you have to file bankruptcy after he left? Do you have thousands of dollars in credit card debt from raising your kids?

Kola

[malcolm]

...Every action in life is a gamble...you either win or you lose....

Winning often amounts to choosing the right game.  I have done (and continue to do) things in my life that I could never do with children.  My married men friends frequently look on in envy.

Success isn't just in doing the right things, but the removal of non-essentials.

[RussellsEx]

With regards to Kola, yes, I had to file bankruptcy after Russell lived off of our credit cards to the tune of $20,000. Even he will tell you that, and probably while laughing... HE was the vindictive one....We struggled for 5 years! I have not once said that jail time will give us money...in fact, I am saddened by all of this. We are a Christian family, who did not unilaterally decide anything. I sought the counsel of pastors and counselors, and both of our families. I realize that I am and will be the target here...and I will never pretend that I did not contribute to the demise of our marriage....but he is not innocent. You all are right that I was able to keep us afloat...but barely, selling our cars, and buying the old junker van we drove...(which my kids loved by the way...) It is sad even to me that this comes down to $. But he re-nigged on so much! How you can all defend that...and resort to bashing is so, so sad.

[Notanumber]

With regards to Kola, yes, I had to file bankruptcy after Russell lived off of our credit cards to the tune of $20,000. Even he will tell you that, and probably while laughing... HE was the vindictive one....We struggled for 5 years! I have not once said that jail time will give us money...in fact, I am saddened by all of this. We are a Christian family, who did not unilaterally decide anything. I sought the counsel of pastors and counselors, and both of our families. I realize that I am and will be the target here...and I will never pretend that I did not contribute to the demise of our marriage....but he is not innocent. You all are right that I was able to keep us afloat...but barely, selling our cars, and buying the old junker van we drove...(which my kids loved by the way...) It is sad even to me that this comes down to $. But he re-nigged on so much! How you can all defend that...and resort to bashing is so, so sad.

Did you or did you not renege on your marriage vows?  How are you any different?  Should you be thrown in a jail cell as well? 

[RussellsEx]

Since you asked, I was extremely hesitant to even file for anything at all, knowing that, as a Christian, I would be violating God's laws, if I filed for anything that was unbiblical. Thus, I sought much counsel, and initially, and to the detriment of my own case, legally, I filed for separation, as my goal was to stay married. We remained in this separated state for about 2 years. During that time, a number of things occurred which showed me and many others, including both sets of parents...that Russell felt justified in his ability to harm me or the kids. I saw no other way...either remain in a separated state indefinitely, or begin the hideous divorce process. At many points along the way, I sought alternative resolutions...only to be laughed at or ridiculed by him. I know you don't have to believe me...but I am trying the best I can to explain myself and the current situation.

[Notanumber]

Since you asked, I was extremely hesitant to even file for anything at all, knowing that, as a Christian, I would be violating God's laws, if I filed for anything that was unbiblical. Thus, I sought much counsel, and initially, and to the detriment of my own case, legally, I filed for separation, as my goal was to stay married. We remained in this separated state for about 2 years. During that time, a number of things occurred which showed me and many others, including both sets of parents...that Russell felt justified in his ability to harm me or the kids. I saw no other way...either remain in a separated state indefinitely, or begin the hideous divorce process. At many points along the way, I sought alternative resolutions...only to be laughed at or ridiculed by him. I know you don't have to believe me...but I am trying the best I can to explain myself and the current situation.

Whatever you feel he put you through, the Christian thing to to now is to forgive him and set him free.  He is no threat to you or anyone, and now you hold the keys to his cell.  You know he will never pay you, and would likely rather rot in prison than live as your slave.  What do you gain by harming him further?

[RussellsEx]

I HAVE NOT HARMED RUSSELL. HE HARMED US and continues to do so...albeit financially now...and no, that does not make me a materialistic witch.

[RussellsEx]

Russell is living in a self-imposed cell of his own making...He alone holds the keys to his release.

[Notanumber]

I HAVE NOT HARMED RUSSELL. HE HARMED US and continues to do so...albeit financially now...and no, that does not make me a materialistic witch.

Perhaps he harmed you at one point, that is hard to prove.  He definitely is not harming you now.  He owes you nothing.  You chose to leave, and should deal with the consequences of that action.  You are harming him, you are the cause of him being put in a cage.  Life is short, and no one should be forced to serve another against their will.  That is why you were granted the divorce you asked for, and that is why you should give him his freedom from you.

[malcolm]

Russell is living in a self-imposed cell of his own making...He alone holds the keys to his release.

Yep.  He needs to play the hand he has been dealt, not whine that he doesn't like the cards.  No one forced him to marry this woman, spawn a kid and adopt another.

Next time understand the game before you sit down to play.  And don't play at all if the game doesn't suit you.

This is a sneak preview, gentlemen.  Are you paying attention?

[Notanumber]

Russell is living in a self-imposed cell of his own making...He alone holds the keys to his release.

You can tell yourself that, but it isnt true.  You put this in motion, and you hold the keys to his release.  Becoming your slave is not a solution to Russell's problem.  You ended the marriage, get over it.  

[RussellsEx]

It is true that he owes me nothing...I am here on behalf of three children who he either helped create or adopt.

[kola]

Next time understand the game before you sit down to play.  And don't play at all if the game doesn't suit you.
This is a sneak preview, gentlemen.  Are you paying attention?

err no Malcolm. Its too late for this old man. I had to learn the hard way. 

Kola 

[ReverendRyan]

My .00002 oz of gold:

As far as Russell himself is concerned, I don't know the whole story. I doubt even Kat or the ex truly know the entire story. So I don't see a standing for myself to make an opinion.

But to ALL of Russell's family: Kat, Kira, and his biological kids (whose names I'm not privy to): I offer my sincerest sympathy. This kind of situation really has no winners.