Opinions Wanted: "I feel fat, please don't publish my images"

[K. Darien Freeheart]

A friend of mine is discussing with me some issues that she has about her body image, and how she feels this is affecting her as an activist.

While I certainly encourage her to deal with those image issues, it often takes longer than a few weeks to really honor so...

If an activist told you honestly "I feel that I'm ugly/fat and I would appreciate if you didn't publish photos or video of me on the net", would you respect the request? Would you take a few extra minutes of video editing or image uploading to make this person feel more at ease joining in the activism?

Please be honest. Thanks.

[Kat Kanning]

Sure, I'd try and respect her wishes.

[KBCraig]

I honor that request all the time. It's the key to a happy marriage. 

[Fluff and Stuff]

Absolutely.  I'd even take down existing photos of them ASAP if that is what they wanted.  Even if someone wasn't a liberty activist and made a similar request, I'd gladly honor it.

[Russell Kanning]

i try to not take pictures of fluff and stuff because he is fat

[Lloyd Danforth]

Me too!


That and, it requires being in his presence.

[Friday]

Absolutely.  Plus, the sensible thing to do is to ask someone *before* you photograph/videotape them if you have their permission to do so.  I did this at an activist event last weekend, and it saved me the hassle of having to doctor photos to cut out the individuals who said they did not wish to be included.

If you're dealing with a crowd shot, it gets a little dicier.  If the person who doesn't want to be photographed is in the middle of a crowd of 40 people, well....  she probably knows the crowd is being photographed/videotaped, and can choose to step out of the way, which is what I do.

Last week, an activist and I were chatting, and she wanted to take a photo of three of us to place on a website for a cause I do NOT support.  I said politely, "Sorry,  no thank you."  She took the photo of the other two.

[Tom Sawyer]

I feel that when you are capturing images of people, you have a responsibility to show them in their best light. Images can have a powerful effect. I want people to like to see the images I capture. It means a lot of shots, hoping one catches everyone with their eyes open, looking relaxed and comfortable in their own skin. The most gorgeous model can have an "ugly" shot taken and I believe the homeliest person can have a wonderful shot taken of them. I end up shooting about 10 to 1and there is always "the" shot... if I had taken one less I wouldn't have gotten it.

The proliferation of still and video cameras in everyone hands means a high ratio of less flattering shots...
Flash photos usually wash the shots out and no one looks good in that harsh, blue tinted light.

I have had people ask me how I got the "nice" shot of them... I hunted it... I caught them when they weren't self aware, they were relaxed and being who they are.

[TackleTheWorld]

Dear Regretful Friend,
I started to remove you from the recording of our event together, but every time I hit the cut button my heart broke.    We had a connection at the event, talking, laughing, and enjoying our time together, but every time I separated your likeness from ours it felt like you were getting farther away.  Not only were you being removed, but the event was being made shorter, less human, and less meaningful.  My sadness was replaced with anger when I realized that if you really didn't like our gatherings,  you wouldn't attend.  If you really are driven to solitude because of your appearance, you would not attend.  If you don't agree with our goals, you wouldn't attend.  Why would someone present themselves in public then ask to be erased in the records? To destroy the event.  The end result is the same whether goons seized and destroyed the camera or something is being studiously avoided in every scene:  the truth is no longer there.  If a person could have been removed then a murder could have been removed.  There is room for anything to go into the holes created.   
If I complete these edits, I will be less likely to video any event, especially events where you might be expected.  Now that I've done it once, anyone with any excuse could ask me to cut them out too, and how can I refuse?  The end result is there will be less communications, less videos, less sharing of pictures, less evidence and truth to work with.  That is what evil people want.
I may  be mistaken or misunderstanding you and perhaps over reacted, but I've explained my fears.  I think they are real.  Please explain your fears at being seen at this event.

[Praeteridiot]

A friend of mine is discussing with me some issues that she has about her body image, and how she feels this is affecting her as an activist.
While I certainly encourage her to deal with those image issues, it often takes longer than a few weeks to really honor so...If an activist told you honestly "I feel that I'm ugly/fat and I would appreciate if you didn't publish photos or video of me on the net", would you respect the request? Would you take a few extra minutes of video editing or image uploading to make this person feel more at ease joining in the activism?
Please be honest. Thanks.

I wouldn't publish photos, but I would feel pretentious to assume I were "covering an event" and not just taking pictures in the first place, so it'd be out of courtesy and not wanting my enjoyment of taking pictures to trump someone else's strong feelings--I don't take pictures of my SO or post any of him for this reason (unless he's in the corner or definitely not "what the picture is of.")   If I were to know how to edit people out of the few videos I've taken I would feel very iffy about that.  (Tackle addressed that part more eloquently than I ever could.)

[Friday]

Last week, an activist and I were chatting, and she wanted to take a photo of three of us to place on a website for a cause I do NOT support.  I said politely, "Sorry,  no thank you."  She took the photo of the other two.

By the way, I just got around to reading the brochure this person handed me.  Thank goodness she gave me the opportunity to decline to be her website's cover girl.

9 Principles Held by AsA Mom

1) America is good.

2) I believe in God and He is the center of my life.

3) I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

4) The family is sacred.  My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.

5) If you break the law, you pay the penalty.  Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6) I have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.

7) I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who [sic] I want to.  The government cannot force me to be charitable.

8. It is not un-american for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.

9) The government works for me.  I do not answer to them.  They answer to me.

10) Children are a gift from God and a sacred responsibility.

(Yes, there are 10 points on the list of 9 Principles)   

[Mike Barskey]

If a friend asked me to not take their picture, I might try to convince them that I want the picture just for myself and will not share it with anybody (which would be true). If that failed, then I would honor their request to not take a picture of them.

If a friend asked me to not share my picture of them (i.e., on the internet), I would probably try to determine why and then find a solution. If that failed, then I would honor their request to not share my picture of them.

If a stranger asked me to not take or share my picture of them, I would probably honor their request but still try to learn why.

If someone I don't like requested that I don't take or share my picture of them and they were in a public place, I would probably take/share the picture anyway (not definitely - it does depend on the situation).

If someone I don't like requested that I don't take or share my picture of them and they were in a private place or otherwise in a position to rightfully control my taking/sharing of my picture of them, then I would honor their request.

[Kat Kanning]

If a friend asked me to not take their picture, I might try to convince them that I want the picture just for myself and will not share it with anybody (which would be true). If that failed, then I would honor their request to not take a picture of them.

If a friend asked me to not share my picture of them (i.e., on the internet), I would probably try to determine why and then find a solution. If that failed, then I would honor their request to not share my picture of them.

If a stranger asked me to not take or share my picture of them, I would probably honor their request but still try to learn why.

If someone I don't like requested that I don't take or share my picture of them and they were in a public place, I would probably take/share the picture anyway (not definitely - it does depend on the situation).

If someone I don't like requested that I don't take or share my picture of them and they were in a private place or otherwise in a position to rightfully control my taking/sharing of my picture of them, then I would honor their request.

Life must be really complicated inside Barskey's head. 

[Pat K]

If I was was worried about this, I would
just gain a few more pounds and then even light
would not be able to escape my gravity, making pictures irrelevant.

[error]

By the way, I just got around to reading the brochure this person handed me.  Thank goodness she gave me the opportunity to decline to be her website's cover girl.

9 Principles Held by AsA Mom

1) America is good.

2) I believe in God and He is the center of my life.

3) I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

4) The family is sacred.  My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.

5) If you break the law, you pay the penalty.  Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6) I have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.

7) I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who [sic] I want to.  The government cannot force me to be charitable.

8. It is not un-american for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.

9) The government works for me.  I do not answer to them.  They answer to me.

10) Children are a gift from God and a sacred responsibility.

(Yes, there are 10 points on the list of 9 Principles)   

So close, yet so far away.