I don't know if you remember my plea for advice re: 18 yr. son coming back home

[eques]

Haha!

I'm a lot older than a teenager and I find that I have difficulty communicating with others when there's something that's bothering me.  This just leads to it bothering me more because, well, I've never even said anything to the person that's doing the bothering!

So, with my girlfriend, I usually find myself at the point where I'm angry over a really, really stupid thing.  I mean, we're talking trivial, here.  It's usually far more trivial than leaving the toilet seat up (I actually always close the lid because I don't want the cat drinking out of the bowl).  But because I've not said anything, I find myself getting angry.  So I try to use humor... and my girlfriend is usually laughing because I'm being all ostentatious while I vent my "stupid anger."  Then after I calm down a bit, I'm like, "okay, so this does bother me, can we fix this?"

I don't know if it'll work every time, but it's worked so far.  The trick, however, is to get out of the habit that puts us in this situation in the first place!  (Easier said than done!!!)

As for parents... my father remarried, and it took me a while before I realized that my step-mother wasn't very trustworthy.  She'd act like a confidant, and then turn around and tell my father everything.  It's not that I necessarily wanted to hide things from my father (okay, maybe a little bit), but the fact is that my father is not emotionally available and, well, I needed somebody to help me filter through a lot of the problems that I was facing.  Unfortunately, neither of my parents were available for that sort of thing and so I had to filter through these things on my own.  And maybe that's what people have to end up doing anyway... I mean, you have to learn how to do it eventually.

So, no offense to those who had kids young, but I'm sure glad I didn't (my parents had me when they were 19 and 20 and decidedly not ready).  I don't think that a state of "completely ready" quite exists when referring to the raising of a child.  But I know that, in some important ways, I do not have the emotional readiness I feel I need.  I don't want to be raging with emotion inside and appear like an empty, callous shell.  I don't want to deny my emotions to the point where anger runs hot and cold almost constantly.

I think I've gotten better... but time will tell, especially in how I relate to and handle family members.

And now I take leave after my long-winded post.

[Raineyrocks]

hahaha what are we going to call you when you are not toothless??  Just an old Hag??   That seems too harsh! 

I agree, way too harsh.

Rainey, you should adopt Beth.  She's looking for a place to live in NH

Beth would hate it here.  I have a feeling it's too quiet in fact it even drives me crazy at times.  Our old house used to be so lively and fun this is so different.

[error]

Oh, it's never quiet with Beth around!!

[Raineyrocks]

Oh, it's never quiet with Beth around!!

I bet and I haven't even met her yet!   Rick enjoys the silence and the chaos of our old house used to drive him nuts but I loved it!  This probably has nothing to do with anything but when do I ever stay on track?
My neighbor used to yell in the kitchen window instead of knocking at the door, he liked to watch me jump and scream because he scared me, my girlfriend took a pregnancy test, (positive), as my dad and stepmother came from out of nowhere with their huge RV and the bathroom floor caved in and the UPS man came with a package all at the exact same moment.  The UPS guy used to come at the strangest /worst moments all the time. Twice when Rick was getting arrested, (long stories there), a couple of times when I was packing up my stuff and animals to leave, (PMS, it's a bitch), and whenever parts of the house were falling apart.

[Beth221]

Oh, it's never quiet with Beth around!!

look!  I get VERY excited about stuff!  And I cant help it if I start bouncing off the walls!   

It is certainly never a dull moment with me around!