Goat-thievin' bastiges!

[KBCraig]

Mary's grooming/boarding/doggie-daycare business is located on a couple of acres, part of which used to be calf pens. I don't mind mowing the front lawn and edging the sidewalk, but when I saw that 30x120 enclosure --quite well-fertilized, mind you-- full of waist-high weeds and grass, I told her to buy a different sort of weedeater. Which she did, and may I introduce Herbie Vore:

Herbie is a Boer/Spanish cross wether. When Mary bought him, he was an 8 week old bottle-raised orphan. For a week, he happily tackled weeds in the back yard of the business, and spent nights inside in a dog kennel.

On Sunday afternoon, I made sure he was secure in the calf pens, for his first "outside" night. There are covered stalls with hay floors. Six-foot fence all around. Water and all the vegetation a goat could hope for.

Come Monday morning: no goat. He was 9 weeks old; there's no way he escaped. Someone entered through the big double drive-through gate, then climbed over the fence and hoisted him out.

The suspect list is very, very short, almost certainly correct, and is not provable at all. Let's just say that the landlords' handyman was likely to rename "Herbie" as "Cabrito".

I was perfectly willing to roast that goat (or any goat) myself. But he was a cute kid, and the fact that he was stolen is just crawling all over me, and making me increasingly pissed off the longer I think about it.



Kevin

[Tom Sawyer]

 
Sorry KB.

[slim]

That gives new meaning to the word Kidnapping 

[Rocketman]

Fargin' Sneeky Bastiges!   

[dalebert]

I hope the thief experiences the negative karma back for that one. Meanwhile, that reminds me of a joke. I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive, but I just have to tell it as it's one of my favorites.

The Liberal Goat Farmer

A farmer was constantly preoccupied with counting his next-door neighbor's goats. He couldn't help noticing that Jim had two more goats than him. Every night before he went to bed, he complained in his prayers.

"God, Jim has two more goats than me. I just don't understand how that can possibly be fair. I'm a good man. I go to church every Sunday and I pray every night and I just don't understand how you can keep ignoring me."

One day the farmer discovered a new young goat on his neighbor's farm. He was outraged. That night his prayers sounded even more angry.

"God, are you punishing me? What have I done to deserve this? How can you let me fall so far behind Jim?"

He was quite shocked when he actually heard the voice of God in his head. He never expected quite so personal of an answer.

"Okay, okay! Listen to me, John. Jim is up earlier than you every day. He tends to his crops better and provides more food for his goats. Every day he watches out for his goats, keeping an eye out for predators. He checks on their health every day, watching what they eat and checking them out each night before putting them safely away in the barn. In short, he spends more time caring for his goats while you spend your time counting your neighbor's goats. If you promise to NEVER EVER complain about your neighbors goats again, I will help you catch up just this once, but then you're on your own. You have to learn that you reap what you sow!"

Jack jumped up and shook his wife awake.

"Honey! Our prayers have been answered!"

His wife looks at him, groggy and confused. "What? What's going on?"

"God's going to smite three of Jim's goats!"