Drug testing

[Spencer]

You don't need to pay for any expensive "teas" or other aids to pass a urine test. Just drink a gallon of water before you test, and make sure you urinate several times before going in.

Depending on the sophistication of the test, they'll detect that your urine is "diluted" (which most agencies / labs consider a failure) if you drink too much water; they base it on the creatine levels in the urine.

[SeanSchade]

You don't need to pay for any expensive "teas" or other aids to pass a urine test. Just drink a gallon of water before you test, and make sure you urinate several times before going in.

Depending on the sophistication of the test, they'll detect that your urine is "diluted" (which most agencies / labs consider a failure) if you drink too much water; they base it on the creatine levels in the urine.

Hmmm, maybe they've changed since I used to take them, but I never had a problem passing one. 

As far as a failure, they can't legally say that you tested positive for any drugs. They can only say that the tests couldn't successfully be performed.

[Spencer]

You don't need to pay for any expensive "teas" or other aids to pass a urine test. Just drink a gallon of water before you test, and make sure you urinate several times before going in.

Depending on the sophistication of the test, they'll detect that your urine is "diluted" (which most agencies / labs consider a failure) if you drink too much water; they base it on the creatine levels in the urine.

Hmmm, maybe they've changed since I used to take them, but I never had a problem passing one. 

As far as a failure, they can't legally say that you tested positive for any drugs. They can only say that the tests couldn't successfully be performed.

It depends on how tough your probation judge is.

[SeanSchade]

You don't need to pay for any expensive "teas" or other aids to pass a urine test. Just drink a gallon of water before you test, and make sure you urinate several times before going in.

Depending on the sophistication of the test, they'll detect that your urine is "diluted" (which most agencies / labs consider a failure) if you drink too much water; they base it on the creatine levels in the urine.

Hmmm, maybe they've changed since I used to take them, but I never had a problem passing one. 

As far as a failure, they can't legally say that you tested positive for any drugs. They can only say that the tests couldn't successfully be performed.

It depends on how tough your probation judge is.

Ouch!!! I guess I never had to take that into consideration. Better to err on the safe side then.

[MaineShark]

I don't have a problem with an employer asking that employees take a test.  That's their choice, and I didn't have an issue with taking the test for my current job, for a fairly small company.  Their insurance rates are so much better as a result that they can afford to pay me better without hurting their profit margin.

On the other hand, when I took the test I was carrying, and anyone who knows me will tell you that I do not believe in the notion that there is such a thing as too much firepower.  So, if I could walk into the medical office, get "searched," fill the cup and walk out without anyone noticing half a dozen pounds of steel on my belt, I expect that anyone who really wanted to could easily conceal a container with clean urine...

Joe

[Alex, Minarchist Minutema]

"Myth Busters" (a program on the Discovery Channel) just did a special on failing drug tests due to eating bagels.   

That has been a concern that has been going around for decades, and its always been pretty much agreed upon that it can give a false positive... but a lot of employers did not realy buy into the claim.  Likewise, the the drug testing companies have gone to great lengths to not overtly advertise the glaring flaw in their tests because they never wanted to give employers (who are the main purchasers of these tests) the impression that their tests are grotequely flawed and that in reality, perhaps tens or hunreds of thousands of employees may have had false positives on their results, despite never having used drufgs (or at least not using them in quite a while).

The Myth Busters special showed that not only is this old legend true, but in fact, the rate of false positives and the rapid rate at which the "drug" enters your system is far faster than most people believed and the problem as a whole is far worse than people even originally thought.   

You eat a 1 poppy bagel.... your in danger of being close to failing the drug tests and will be considered to be a user of opiate based drugs.  A light women, weight 120 lbs or under, might possibly fail the drug test even after eating only 1 bagel.... heavier men may require 2 or 3 bagels... but thats not guaranteed.

You eat two or three bagels... your definately failing.... and all of this only takes an hour or two.  Furthermore, just as with the real drug, it will remain in your system... so if you ate poppy seed bagels or cakes the day before... you could still have latent opiates floating around in your system which will bring you borderline close to losing your job.

[SeanSchade]

"Myth Busters" (a program on the Discovery Channel) just did a special on failing drug tests due to eating bagels.   

That has been a concern that has been going around for decades, and its always been pretty much agreed upon that it can give a false positive... but a lot of employers did not realy buy into the claim.  Likewise, the the drug testing companies have gone to great lengths to not overtly advertise the glaring flaw in their tests because they never wanted to give employers (who are the main purchasers of these tests) the impression that their tests are grotequely flawed and that in reality, perhaps tens or hunreds of thousands of employees may have had false positives on their results, despite never having used drufgs (or at least not using them in quite a while).

The Myth Busters special showed that not only is this old legend true, but in fact, the rate of false positives and the rapid rate at which the "drug" enters your system is far faster than most people believed and the problem as a whole is far worse than people even originally thought.   

You eat a 1 poppy bagel.... your in danger of being close to failing the drug tests and will be considered to be a user of opiate based drugs.  A light women, weight 120 lbs or under, might possibly fail the drug test even after eating only 1 bagel.... heavier men may require 2 or 3 bagels... but thats not guaranteed.

You eat two or three bagels... your definately failing.... and all of this only takes an hour or two.  Furthermore, just as with the real drug, it will remain in your system... so if you ate poppy seed bagels or cakes the day before... you could still have latent opiates floating around in your system which will bring you borderline close to losing your job.

Wow, when my cousin was in the Navy he said he was told not to eat poppy sead bagels because he could fail a piss test. I thought he was full of shit...guess I was wrong!

[KBCraig]

Given that opiates come from poppies, it's not surprising that poppy seeds cause positive readings.

[outlaw4freedom]

If not it's easy enough to cheat 

Well of course I could get a test helper but if I need to work for someone else I would rather they did not pry in to my life

Agreed. I won't work somewhere that drug tests on principle.

Ditto

[Alex, Minarchist Minutema]

I won't take "psychological" [a.k.a. mumbo-jumbo pseudo-science] tests which many employers like to give out.

Many years ago, while young and hard-up for a job... I decided to work at one of these big wherehouse-store chains (like Sams' Club, Costco), etc..  The crap they made me jump through just to get a trivial job stocking shelves was truly mind boggling... I have no idea how people put up with that kind of nireacratic bullshit.   Do all these people have no sense of integrity or pride whatsoever?  One of the requirements (besides the drug test which I likewise won't take unless the boss is personally willing to give me his wife and daughters pap smear results), is a very elaborate 300 question psychological test.

Of course,,., they don't tell me this on the on the phone.  They imply that I got the job and I just needed to come down and "fill out some paperwork" (they godda' be deseperate to hire people when they have to basically pull a bait and switch lie to get you to come down and fill out a huge stack of forms).  So she hands me this test that must have been around 35 pages in length... So, I start filling it out.... and it only took me about 5 minutes (I dont know if I'm too patient, or not patient enough) to realize this test is just absolute pseudo-science complete bullshit... and I wasn't about to proceed further.  I did however take the liberty of simply amusing myself by reading through about 20 pages of this drivel, not bothering to fill it out.... just memorizing the rediculous questions so I'd have some good stories to tell....

So I ended up walking to the nice human resources lady.  Smiling at her, and just ripping this thick stack of paper right in half (after breaking it into several smaller pieces because thats how thick this test packet was)... I made some offhanded remark that I dont remember.... short and to the point... just told her that "I'm not jumping through these kinds of elaborate hoops for the wage your paying me, just so that I can stock shelves".


Anyway... so I ultimately decided that my path in life was self employment because I just have zero tolerance for this overbearing corporate bureacratic mentality bullshit.  Its simply insulting and I kind of would like to keep whatever dignity I have left intact.... and I won't be a part of it... which suits me just fine.  Anyone that wants to bend over and take it, just so they can have the priveledge of working for somebody else and getting paid shit... go right ahead.  Anyone thats that weak willed that they think they have to work for somebody else.... go right ahead, keep bending over and taking it.   I say self-employment is the way to go.

[Dave Ridley]

Mabey study for the Test?

ROFLTAFO

('till ass falls off')

[cathleeninnh]

I've seen loads of these tests and they don't bother me. They have only one value that I can tell and it's a pretty good one.

It is next to impossible to bullshit convincingly. All the rephrased questions are unmanageable in the allotted time. Since that is very easy to do in the interview, if they give you the test and expose the insincere, they can let just about anyone do interviewing without much training.

Companies go to great lengths and expense to make things idiot proof so they can put idiots in many positions. You've noticed the blank stares you get when an unusual situation arises. Thinking people can be dangerous. I took a management course once that included an explanation of the necessity of getting rid of any employee approaching indispensability.

Cathleen

[dalebert]

Mythbusters is a great show. I also highly recommend Bullshit, with Penn Gillette. I'm sure there are LOTS of Bullshit fans here.