Married without a License?

[Beth221]

I am in a non-governmental marriage.  We can get most of the "privleges" of a government marriage with a few simple contracts (power of attorney, healtcare proxy, medical power of attorney, etc.).  Although the grand total for our ceremony&reception was about $3k, the name change paperwork only cost $50 (if you want that), and $50 to a libertarian minister who handled the pomp and circumstance (we wrote our own ceremony, but he knows how to deliver it in an impressive manner).  We signed a marriage certificate during the ceremony, with witnesses, that we had written and had calligraphed by a friend.  The only place "New Hampshire" is mentioned on it is the location.  All the basics, none of the government hoohah.

I'm happy, Joe's happy, and we're free to set what parameters we want for our relationship.  Which in my opinion is a lot less restrictive than a traditional marriage.

what is a health care PROXY? 

[MaineShark]

what is a health care PROXY?

It designates someone as your "agent" for making healthcare decisions if you are incapacitated.  In other words, if I crash my car and am in a coma, Denise is the one who gets to decide what should be done.  A living will can define certain circumstances, and what should be done, but if something odd comes up, the healthcare proxy defines who gets to "interpret" my wishes, rather than leaving it up to the courts.

Joe

[Beth221]

ahhhhaa!  I got it! 

Ok, Dan, Pull the plug if I am a veggie for more than the week!   

[aworldnervelink]

In other words, if I crash my car and am in a coma...

I vote for drawing all over him with magic marker...

[PassionatePantherrr]

I vote for drawing all over him with magic marker...

Hrmmm....  is that how your hands turned purple? *snicker*

[ancapagency]

Well Beth, I reckon I'll add my two cents to this issue (well, I think it's worth more than 2 cents, so I'll add my "Liberty Dollar").

First of all, as you already mentioned, the first thing you need to do is determine WHY it is you want to get married, and of course, are you SURE you want to get married?  And I think a good step towards figuring that out is to decide what your definition of marriage is.

For some, the marriage is primarily the "social sanction" of their relationship.  For some it's a religious or state sanction. For others it may be a formalized exclusivity agreement.  And there are (I'm sure) countless other definitions, reasons, etc.  I've known people with all sorts of various relationships they call "marriages."   

Now, at the risk of telling you something you already know, a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that there is some sort of "platonic ideal" relationship that is the model on which all people are supposed to mold their relationships.  And even when we intellectually know better, we sometimes have been subjected to the social indoctrination so much that emotionally we still try to do the same thing as everyone else.

Anyway, pardon the sermon.  My suggestion is that you might want to just decide exactly what it is you want, and sit down with Dan and negotiate a contract between the two of you.  No need to involve the gooferment or anything.  Granted, that means you wouldn't be able to "enforce" that contract via the gooferment, but one would assume that 1) being libertarians, one assumes good-faith and absence of the need for gooferment enforcement; and 2) if the contract is negotiated well, and not too open ended, and with provisions for flexibility and renegotiating as time goes by, as well as a clause deliniating the means of dissolution and dealing with possible breaches, etc.

Sorry, I'm a mediator, and relationship contracts are something of a minor hobby-horse of mine.

[powerchuter]

I vote for drawing all over him with magic marker...

Hrmmm....  is that how your hands turned purple? *snicker*

I think it had something to do with Barney the Dinosaur...

[cyberdoo78]

Anyway, pardon the sermon.

Preach on! Amen!

Sorry, I'm a mediator, and relationship contracts are something of a minor hobby-horse of mine.

What kind of breed is that hobby-horse?

[Beth221]

so much to think about!!  Brain going to explode!  (Sometimes I do that!)   

[cyberdoo78]

WARNING ::  MAY EMIT FLAMING BALLS!!!

They make a cream for that.

[Beth221]

a cream so me head doesnt go splodies???  YAY!  I LOVE THE NET!

[Jared]

got married 3 years ago, got the license. don't think i'd bother with the damn peice of paper if i was to do it over again. i'd still have a ceremony and all that, but there's absolutely no reason for the state to get involved in a religious and personal ceremony. that's my own business.

[Beth221]

i can agree with that.  thank you everyone for your stories, suggestions, and information!  It has helped me look at the real facts of inviting the state into my life, for no reason.  THanks!