Here's some jokes! Who knows maybe somebody will laugh!

[Raineyrocks]

1. Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."


2. Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says. 'But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. 'What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you're gonna die."

3. My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)

4. Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. "Turn the lake into beer," he says. The genie goes "Poof!" and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, "So what do you think?" The other guy says, "You jerk. Now we've got to piss in the boat."

[dalebert]

'What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you're gonna die."

That's not very tactful. If he were a Christian, I'd say "He says you get to go to Heaven early!"

[Raineyrocks]

3. My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)

aint that the truth!  hehe

Rainey!  I just noticed your new picture!  You look great!!

Thanks!

[Lloyd Danforth]

3. My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)

aint that the truth!  hehe

Rainey!  I just noticed your new picture!  You look great!!

Yeah, except for the split ends

Actually you look like one of your daughters

[Raineyrocks]

3. My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)

aint that the truth!  hehe

Rainey!  I just noticed your new picture!  You look great!!

Yeah, except for the split ends

Actually you look like one of your daughters

   Those damn split ends!  But wait, this picture was taken before I got the splitender mender or whatever it's called! 

Which daughter Lloyd?  When I met you there was my brunette (17), and my little 12 year old?  Actually it's weird when my 22 year old was little she looked nothing like me now it blows my mind we could be identical twins!

[Kat Kanning]

So she has split ends, too?

[Raineyrocks]

So she has split ends, too?

I never thought about that one of my daughters are going to be upset when they hear of this!

P.S.  Upset about either looking like me or having split ends, hhhmmm,  I wonder!

[Jim Johnson]

Most daughters I've ever talked to...I think ever women is a daughter...I'm pretty sure...ya, no I'm sure...but most them were not pleased that they were going to be their mother.

The best example I have seen was a set of photographs of a mother and daughter in Perth, Australia.
The daughter was very vocal and adamantly opposed to becoming her mother, but the photos where proof positive.  She did like the idea that she was a continuation of her mother... and her mother.

[J’raxis 270145]

Most daughters I've ever talked to...I think ever women is a daughter...I'm pretty sure...ya, no I'm sure...but most them were not pleased that they were going to be their mother.

The best example I have seen was a set of photographs of a mother and daughter in Perth, Australia.
The daughter was very vocal and adamantly opposed to becoming her mother, but the photos where proof positive.  She did like the idea that she was a continuation of her mother... and her mother.

[Jim Johnson]

Most daughters I've ever talked to...I think ever women is a daughter...I'm pretty sure...ya, no I'm sure...but most them were not pleased that they were going to be their mother.

The best example I have seen was a set of photographs of a mother and daughter in Perth, Australia.
The daughter was very vocal and adamantly opposed to becoming her mother, but the photos where proof positive.  She did like the idea that she was a continuation of her mother... and her mother.

That you don't understand shows that your not intouch with your feminine side. 
Go ask your girlfriend...if you have one.

[Lloyd Danforth]

3. My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)

aint that the truth!  hehe

Rainey!  I just noticed your new picture!  You look great!!

Yeah, except for the split ends

Actually you look like one of your daughters

   Those damn split ends!  But wait, this picture was taken before I got the splitender mender or whatever it's called! 

Which daughter Lloyd?  When I met you there was my brunette (17), and my little 12 year old?  Actually it's weird when my 22 year old was little she looked nothing like me now it blows my mind we could be identical twins!

The night we met, when we were yelling at the jail, I believe you had two teen something girls with you.  I remember one of them being blondish.  Perhaps it was a friend.  Perhaps I was experiencing an Hallucination.  That often occurs when I am immersed in Oestrogen.

[Raineyrocks]

3. My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)

aint that the truth!  hehe

Rainey!  I just noticed your new picture!  You look great!!

Yeah, except for the split ends

Actually you look like one of your daughters

   Those damn split ends!  But wait, this picture was taken before I got the splitender mender or whatever it's called! 

Which daughter Lloyd?  When I met you there was my brunette (17), and my little 12 year old?  Actually it's weird when my 22 year old was little she looked nothing like me now it blows my mind we could be identical twins!

The night we met, when we were yelling at the jail, I believe you had two teen something girls with you.  I remember one of them being blondish.  Perhaps it was a friend.  Perhaps I was experiencing an Hallucination.  That often occurs when I am immersed in Oestrogen.

OH, that would be my little rebel, she hates getting told she looks like me.  Good memory Lloyd!