Russell Arrested 3/17/08

[Kat Kanning]

  I count his good recovery to his present wife Kat, who has brought him great peace and unfailing love. As for me I am much older than Russell. I have been married for 30 years and have 6 daughters. All of whom Russell consider themselves as Russells friends and miss him. Love Jay

That was sweet, Jay, thank you.

[firecracker joe]

Jay
that was a nice letter and i would put much more stock in what someone who has known russell for years (not even a relative) than any dirt that mindy may wish us all to believe i do not know russell that well but from what i have seen he is a decent person who would not deprive his children of anything they would ask for ,within his means. Mindy seems like a typical disgruntled ex who would love to see the person she once loved in prison cause he's a mean man. I think russell should thank god mindy has done what she has to get him out of her life otherwise he might not have met kat who i think is an exceptional person, mother and wife. I know what side i am on. All i would like to see is russell back with kat and kira the two who desrve him most.  Joe

[RussellsEx]

This is my recollection  of what happened to my friend Russell (And this is my response...)  Russell and Mindy married in 1990 (August 17, 1991) and proceeded to become debt free. (We were never debt free, but worked at that.) Mindy taught at a local Christian school (the one her parents built (My dad was on the school board for a couple of years...) and she attended). They adopted two hard to place brothers and they finally had a daughter of their own in 1997. Mindy had become a stay-at-home mom. Both she and Russell became heavily involved at High Desert Church.

    In early 1999 Mindy visited her folks in Africa(The trip had been planned for a year...but events that took place right before the trip caused me to finally share with them what had been going on in the marriage), came home and threw Russell out. (I had contacted his parents as well, while in Africa, told them of our marital troubles, and asked for them to help me confront Russell, which they readily agreed to do. I had typed out the hopes I had for resolution, and we all agreed...counselors, parents, pastors...that he had to leave the home considering what had occurred. His dad helped to physically remove Russell when he threatened to kill me and the kids.) One of her family's closest friends is a Christian marriage counselor at their church. They went to see him and he told her that their marriage could be healed and not to make any rash decisions. (This is correct...but in time, I came to disagree with his view based on Russell's own actions towards me...stalking, stealing a check out of my mailbox, and his firm insistence that he did not believe he had really wronged us.We remained in a separated state for 2 years, as my ongoing hope was to see Russell change. ) She never went back. (Also correct.) Russell however continued for some years. Russell lived with us part time and part time with his sister some 100 miles away. This went on for about a year so Russell could continue giving all his pay to his family. (This is correct...this was the time when Russell was making his court-ordered child support payments. I have not said anything different.) Mindy had gone back to work and stopped going to church (I was happily attending another church at this time, and am not sure how you could have even known my church attendance, unless someone was spying on me.) and stopped all the friendships she had had since childhood. (This isn't true at all...as a matter of fact, I was extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed when everything came out around town...so, while I did 'lie low' for a while, it wasn't in any way a cutting off of all friendships. Anyone who has been divorced knows that sometimes 'he' ends up with some of the mutual friends, and so does 'she', so there were a few people that gravitated towards Russell that I had also been friends with, but never considered myself cut off from them.) After about a year she told Russell she needed more money. (When he stopped paying...)So Russell quit his job here at McWelco and started driving truck. After he was trained he became an owner-operator, hired a team driver and lived in his truck for the next six months and deposited all his earning in Mindy's account for his family. (This is completely false...he did continue paying us some money, but it was only what he 'owed', and not his entire earnings...) Some months he was giving her as much as $5000.00 a month. (This is ludicrous...and never happened.)All this time he hoped that they would soon get back together as he did for some 5 years.  (This just is not true. We separated in May of 2000, and he married Kat approx 4 yrs ago, which would have been sometime in 2004...and he had long walked away completely, before that...) At the end of Russell truck driving for 6 month Mindy called him up and told him that she needed $4000.00. (I truly do not remember this...it is possible that he was behind by $4,000.) He reminded her that she receives all his money save a food stipend.  She said she had to have the money and suggested he barrow it from his 91-year-old grandmother in North Dakota. Russell refused. (I do remember this conversation, as it was the same one where I said, "If you could consistently give the kids money for groceries, or contribute towards tuition, even as little as $200 mo, that would be great. We could at least count on that, rather than nothing some months, and then $1,000. I was trying to work with Russell on this. This was when he laughed at me and said, he would never pay the kids anything again. He has kept his word on that.)
    He realized that no matter how much money he gave her she would always need more (His children would certainly require 'more'...as the law also agrees...that children need food, clothes and shelter until they come of age.) and that essentially he was helping her not put his family back together. (Russell told me during this time, while driving truck that he had been listening to other 'drivers' as well as some radio shows, and he had come to the conclusion that he was just not going to pay anymore.) He returned home to find that she had abandoned their beautiful large four bedroom home and had taken a 2 bedroom apt that was less than $100 cheaper a month than the house and found the house was in foreclosure, Russell quit truck driving. (This is just flat out untrue. The house might have been a month behind, but we were not in foreclosure at all, at this point. Foreclosure takes a long time to complete.. we moved out of the house in August, but did not receive the foreclosure phone call until April/May of the next year. Also, it is true that the apartment was only about $150 mo less, but I was paring down in other areas, that only being one. I let the bank take back possession of our car which was costing $400 mo. In those two transactions alone, I freed up almost $600 mo, which was huge at the time) The house was messed up, Russell tried repairing and taking renters to try to save the house for his family but he only staved off the inevitable. (Does anyone see the disparity of these statements? How can Russell be making enough money to give me $5000 month which of course, never happened...and then he stopped paying me, only to then not be able to pay a $1200 month house pmt?? Also...it is completely false that Russell did anything to fix that house, or clean it up. My kids and I did all of that...When he moved in the 'renters', he was cooking their food over a bucket in the living room!) He also finally asked Mindy if she was ever going to try to repair their marriage. She said no (This is true.) so he told her he wasn't going to finance her disobedience to God anymore, (When you have kids...you still have an obligation to help take care of them, even if you no longer like the spouse...if Russell had been obedient to God initially, in not kicking me when pregnant...etc, we might not be here today) and that she should come home. Well the joke was on him (This was no joke...and I resent the implication that there was some trickery.) because when he returned home he found a notice from the D.A. explaining that he never gave his wife any money that he was now $25000 in dept and a criminal. He gleamed that some months ago she had her lawyer uncle (No one in my family is an attorney...my brother's brother-in-law helped me initially, but not at this juncture.) put together the complaint and told falsehoods about his earnings at McWelco (If there were falsehoods, I am sorry. I have never intentionally lied or misrepresented the truth. But certainly, Russell had every legal recourse if there were false numbers to correct them? I remember that the numbers were based on his last earnings there) and of course claimed that she had received no money from Russell for the full almost two years they were, at that time, separated.(I have never claimed this, not then and not now...but it doesn't negate the fact that he is still supposed to be contributing....)
     Now the reason Mindy was so confidant that she would get away with lying ( I cannot believe this was written...I have not lied. You may not like what was happening, but I have not lied) was because like so many Christians she knows Russell would never let a court have authority over his marriage and family. (This has nothing to do at all whatsoever with being a Christian...Jesus said "Render to Caesar that which is Caesar's..." He does recognize the church authority in this regard and as I said before, never, up to this point, stopped going to counseling when not driving. (This is news to me....I was only aware that he had attended a few times.) Russell would never even contest nor even recognize the court process. (He is being forced to recognize now what he refused to recognize then...) He would never even participate. (But he could have...and should have...I do not think this is a biblical view...I find it to be one of rebellion)      So here we are in 2008 Mindy remarried 2 years ago and so did Russell. (Russell remarried 4 years ago, and I remarried 3 years ago, after he did...)The 2 boys they adopted are grown (Joe is 18 and graduates from H.S. in June and Jesse is 17 and graduates next year and Katie is almost 11. Russell has not given her a dime for about 5 years. (Longer than 6 years) He has sent them a lot of things like clothes and computers (??!No...) and other necessities. (His parents have sent them gifts, and he has occasionally...like twice, sent them birthday money) Of course she would never let Russell visit the kids even before he stopped payment. (I couldn't have kept them from him by law, but you have to remember that the reason I separated from Russell was because he almost killed Joe, and had harmed all of us, except Katie, many times. He was only allowed to see them via supervised visitation, which he mostly refused.) Neither would she let Russell's folks visit them (I have never stopped them from seeing or spending time with their grandparents, when they initiated it, but it was admittedly awkward for everyone.) or his brother and sister (His sister has married a child molester, whom I have never respected, even before the molestation charges were filed) nor their former pastor or friends she and Russell loved. (I love all of these people, and have them to my home, and send Christmas cards...nothing has changed here, except with maybe 3-4 couples)
At the end of the day, I am grieved, despite what you may think, at the turn of events, but please remember that these events were occurring for years....this was not immediate as it appeared to everyone else. And I do have regrets regarding how I handled these situations. Hindsight is clearer. I know I made mistakes. I have even talked with Russell about those in recent months. I am sorry for everything I did to contribute to the demise of my marriage. I live with those choices and consequences every day. But God has forgiven me of my sin. And while there will always be some who 'don't believe me', I am confident in the wake of the ensuing events, that I did make one right choice. I extricated myself from a man who holds himself to be above all laws. I can't tell you how many times, Russell told me that he had the biblical right to hurt me....when I disobeyed. (So I did find it interesting when I heard his words in your post...'my disobedience to God.') The kids and I are praying for Russell now.

I am sorry that he has chosen his political stance as the basis for his new life. It determined his choice for a new wife (in his own words, she is not a believer...) and it determines every conversation I've had with him in the last year, and it is even the reason he stays in jail, rather than obeying the law. When he said to me that he planned on dying as a young man (he said this last year) I knew that Russell was depressed, and seriously hurting. He puts up a good front sometimes, but everyone keeps talking about how well they know Russell. I lived with him as his wife, for 8 years. I know how he works...

When I had to call the police the first time (3 mos after we were married), after my parents had just left for Africa, I did not know who to turn to. I kept it to myself...hoping it would get better. It did for a while, but the pattern was increasing in frequency and severity. And though the kids and I were never in a battered women's shelter, it was not good either.

Jay, I know you care about Russell, and I am glad he has had your family as good friends over all these years. Please be careful to not make assumptions, on what is only one side of the story. Had you ever come  to talk with me, I would have known you wanted the whole truth, not just his version of it. But it makes it so illegitimate to hear you talk, as you have never talked with me. I would have welcomed any sort of help at that point. You say I cut off my friends...which was untrue...many of them cut me out...without talking with me, without caring so much as to lift a finger to call. Based on hearsay? I was hurt by that.

You have spoken the truth as you understand it. I do not fault for you that...but I also felt it was equally important that I tell the truth. I hope you can somehow, find it in your heart, to understand my side.

In Christ,

Mindy

[mackler]

This description does indicate, to me, that private property is being taken by the government to be turned over to a private party for private use. 

If someone stole my car (or anything else) and brought it into New Hampshire, I would encourage the police to take my private property from the thief in order to turn it over to me for my private use.

[Luke S]

I believe Jay's side of the story, that's about all I have to say about it. I don't even know you guys, but Russell is so awesome. I can't possibly believe that he did all those bad things that you say he did.

[Lloyd Danforth]

This is my recollection  of what happened to my friend Russell (And this is my response...)  Russell and Mindy married in 1990 (August 17, 1991) and proceeded to become debt free. (We were never debt free, but worked at that.) Mindy taught at a local Christian school (the one her parents built (My dad was on the school board for a couple of years...) and she attended). They adopted two hard to place brothers and they finally had a daughter of their own in 1997. Mindy had become a stay-at-home mom. Both she and Russell became heavily involved at High Desert Church.

    In early 1999 Mindy visited her folks in Africa(The trip had been planned for a year...but events that took place right before the trip caused me to finally share with them what had been going on in the marriage), came home and threw Russell out. (I had contacted his parents as well, while in Africa, told them of our marital troubles, and asked for them to help me confront Russell, which they readily agreed to do. I had typed out the hopes I had for resolution, and we all agreed...counselors, parents, pastors...that he had to leave the home considering what had occurred. His dad helped to physically remove Russell when he threatened to kill me and the kids.) One of her family's closest friends is a Christian marriage counselor at their church. They went to see him and he told her that their marriage could be healed and not to make any rash decisions. (This is correct...but in time, I came to disagree with his view based on Russell's own actions towards me...stalking, stealing a check out of my mailbox, and his firm insistence that he did not believe he had really wronged us.We remained in a separated state for 2 years, as my ongoing hope was to see Russell change. ) She never went back. (Also correct.) Russell however continued for some years. Russell lived with us part time and part time with his sister some 100 miles away. This went on for about a year so Russell could continue giving all his pay to his family. (This is correct...this was the time when Russell was making his court-ordered child support payments. I have not said anything different.) Mindy had gone back to work and stopped going to church (I was happily attending another church at this time, and am not sure how you could have even known my church attendance, unless someone was spying on me.) and stopped all the friendships she had had since childhood. (This isn't true at all...as a matter of fact, I was extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed when everything came out around town...so, while I did 'lie low' for a while, it wasn't in any way a cutting off of all friendships. Anyone who has been divorced knows that sometimes 'he' ends up with some of the mutual friends, and so does 'she', so there were a few people that gravitated towards Russell that I had also been friends with, but never considered myself cut off from them.) After about a year she told Russell she needed more money. (When he stopped paying...)So Russell quit his job here at McWelco and started driving truck. After he was trained he became an owner-operator, hired a team driver and lived in his truck for the next six months and deposited all his earning in Mindy's account for his family. (This is completely false...he did continue paying us some money, but it was only what he 'owed', and not his entire earnings...) Some months he was giving her as much as $5000.00 a month. (This is ludicrous...and never happened.)All this time he hoped that they would soon get back together as he did for some 5 years.  (This just is not true. We separated in May of 2000, and he married Kat approx 4 yrs ago, which would have been sometime in 2004...and he had long walked away completely, before that...) At the end of Russell truck driving for 6 month Mindy called him up and told him that she needed $4000.00. (I truly do not remember this...it is possible that he was behind by $4,000.) He reminded her that she receives all his money save a food stipend.  She said she had to have the money and suggested he barrow it from his 91-year-old grandmother in North Dakota. Russell refused. (I do remember this conversation, as it was the same one where I said, "If you could consistently give the kids money for groceries, or contribute towards tuition, even as little as $200 mo, that would be great. We could at least count on that, rather than nothing some months, and then $1,000. I was trying to work with Russell on this. This was when he laughed at me and said, he would never pay the kids anything again. He has kept his word on that.)
    He realized that no matter how much money he gave her she would always need more (His children would certainly require 'more'...as the law also agrees...that children need food, clothes and shelter until they come of age.) and that essentially he was helping her not put his family back together. (Russell told me during this time, while driving truck that he had been listening to other 'drivers' as well as some radio shows, and he had come to the conclusion that he was just not going to pay anymore.) He returned home to find that she had abandoned their beautiful large four bedroom home and had taken a 2 bedroom apt that was less than $100 cheaper a month than the house and found the house was in foreclosure, Russell quit truck driving. (This is just flat out untrue. The house might have been a month behind, but we were not in foreclosure at all, at this point. Foreclosure takes a long time to complete.. we moved out of the house in August, but did not receive the foreclosure phone call until April/May of the next year. Also, it is true that the apartment was only about $150 mo less, but I was paring down in other areas, that only being one. I let the bank take back possession of our car which was costing $400 mo. In those two transactions alone, I freed up almost $600 mo, which was huge at the time) The house was messed up, Russell tried repairing and taking renters to try to save the house for his family but he only staved off the inevitable. (Does anyone see the disparity of these statements? How can Russell be making enough money to give me $5000 month which of course, never happened...and then he stopped paying me, only to then not be able to pay a $1200 month house pmt?? Also...it is completely false that Russell did anything to fix that house, or clean it up. My kids and I did all of that...When he moved in the 'renters', he was cooking their food over a bucket in the living room!) He also finally asked Mindy if she was ever going to try to repair their marriage. She said no (This is true.) so he told her he wasn't going to finance her disobedience to God anymore, (When you have kids...you still have an obligation to help take care of them, even if you no longer like the spouse...if Russell had been obedient to God initially, in not kicking me when pregnant...etc, we might not be here today) and that she should come home. Well the joke was on him (This was no joke...and I resent the implication that there was some trickery.) because when he returned home he found a notice from the D.A. explaining that he never gave his wife any money that he was now $25000 in dept and a criminal. He gleamed that some months ago she had her lawyer uncle (No one in my family is an attorney...my brother's brother-in-law helped me initially, but not at this juncture.) put together the complaint and told falsehoods about his earnings at McWelco (If there were falsehoods, I am sorry. I have never intentionally lied or misrepresented the truth. But certainly, Russell had every legal recourse if there were false numbers to correct them? I remember that the numbers were based on his last earnings there) and of course claimed that she had received no money from Russell for the full almost two years they were, at that time, separated.(I have never claimed this, not then and not now...but it doesn't negate the fact that he is still supposed to be contributing....)
     Now the reason Mindy was so confidant that she would get away with lying ( I cannot believe this was written...I have not lied. You may not like what was happening, but I have not lied) was because like so many Christians she knows Russell would never let a court have authority over his marriage and family. (This has nothing to do at all whatsoever with being a Christian...Jesus said "Render to Caesar that which is Caesar's..." He does recognize the church authority in this regard and as I said before, never, up to this point, stopped going to counseling when not driving. (This is news to me....I was only aware that he had attended a few times.) Russell would never even contest nor even recognize the court process. (He is being forced to recognize now what he refused to recognize then...) He would never even participate. (But he could have...and should have...I do not think this is a biblical view...I find it to be one of rebellion)      So here we are in 2008 Mindy remarried 2 years ago and so did Russell. (Russell remarried 4 years ago, and I remarried 3 years ago, after he did...)The 2 boys they adopted are grown (Joe is 18 and graduates from H.S. in June and Jesse is 17 and graduates next year and Katie is almost 11. Russell has not given her a dime for about 5 years. (Longer than 6 years) He has sent them a lot of things like clothes and computers (??!No...) and other necessities. (His parents have sent them gifts, and he has occasionally...like twice, sent them birthday money) Of course she would never let Russell visit the kids even before he stopped payment. (I couldn't have kept them from him by law, but you have to remember that the reason I separated from Russell was because he almost killed Joe, and had harmed all of us, except Katie, many times. He was only allowed to see them via supervised visitation, which he mostly refused.) Neither would she let Russell's folks visit them (I have never stopped them from seeing or spending time with their grandparents, when they initiated it, but it was admittedly awkward for everyone.) or his brother and sister (His sister has married a child molester, whom I have never respected, even before the molestation charges were filed) nor their former pastor or friends she and Russell loved. (I love all of these people, and have them to my home, and send Christmas cards...nothing has changed here, except with maybe 3-4 couples)
At the end of the day, I am grieved, despite what you may think, at the turn of events, but please remember that these events were occurring for years....this was not immediate as it appeared to everyone else. And I do have regrets regarding how I handled these situations. Hindsight is clearer. I know I made mistakes. I have even talked with Russell about those in recent months. I am sorry for everything I did to contribute to the demise of my marriage. I live with those choices and consequences every day. But God has forgiven me of my sin. And while there will always be some who 'don't believe me', I am confident in the wake of the ensuing events, that I did make one right choice. I extricated myself from a man who holds himself to be above all laws. I can't tell you how many times, Russell told me that he had the biblical right to hurt me....when I disobeyed. (So I did find it interesting when I heard his words in your post...'my disobedience to God.') The kids and I are praying for Russell now.

I am sorry that he has chosen his political stance as the basis for his new life. It determined his choice for a new wife (in his own words, she is not a believer...) and it determines every conversation I've had with him in the last year, and it is even the reason he stays in jail, rather than obeying the law. When he said to me that he planned on dying as a young man (he said this last year) I knew that Russell was depressed, and seriously hurting. He puts up a good front sometimes, but everyone keeps talking about how well they know Russell. I lived with him as his wife, for 8 years. I know how he works...

When I had to call the police the first time (3 mos after we were married), after my parents had just left for Africa, I did not know who to turn to. I kept it to myself...hoping it would get better. It did for a while, but the pattern was increasing in frequency and severity. And though the kids and I were never in a battered women's shelter, it was not good either.

Jay, I know you care about Russell, and I am glad he has had your family as good friends over all these years. Please be careful to not make assumptions, on what is only one side of the story. Had you ever come  to talk with me, I would have known you wanted the whole truth, not just his version of it. But it makes it so illegitimate to hear you talk, as you have never talked with me. I would have welcomed any sort of help at that point. You say I cut off my friends...which was untrue...many of them cut me out...without talking with me, without caring so much as to lift a finger to call. Based on hearsay? I was hurt by that.

You have spoken the truth as you understand it. I do not fault for you that...but I also felt it was equally important that I tell the truth. I hope you can somehow, find it in your heart, to understand my side.

In Christ,

Mindy

Do you suppose Christ would want Russell languishing in Jail?

[RussellsEx]

Absolutely not, but Russell keeps himself there by refusing to face these crimes.

[Caleb]

I don't think he can face them. He has to wait until his next court date. They see him on their schedule, not his.

[RussellsEx]

'Sophia Loren's comment was 'Do you suppose Christ would want him languishing in jail?' My answer was to that question...

If I could even presume to know the mind of Christ, it would most certainly be that first and foremost, He gives us free will. Russell (as we all do) has had this same free will. This was the point I was trying to make, in saying that 'he refuses to face these charges.' i.e. leaving the state, refusing to attend that hearing...etc.

[Caleb]

Don't trust that Sophia Loren character ... that's not a woman, that's a man. 

Speaking of Russell's court date, does anyone know when it is?

[Lloyd Danforth]

Absolutely not, but Russell keeps himself there by refusing to face these crimes.

Not a crime. Maybe a debt. He's probably never going to pay.  How long do you want him to stay locked up?

[SethCohn]

Don't trust that Sophia Loren character ... that's not a woman, that's a man. 

  Looks a woman to me.  Of course, I won't be sure until she walks around naked at the pool party.

[RussellsEx]

It is a felony to not pay child support. I never said I wanted him locked up. This is simply the direct result of years of Russell's actions.

[Lloyd Danforth]

I'm think'in Jesus wouldn't want him locked up

[RussellsEx]

I think its less about Russell than it is about his kids...he has had years to reconcile these issues...to no avail. He knew the consequences of those actions. And what Jesus wants is His children provided for...defenseless, helpless children...not the whinings of a grown man who just doesn't want to face his obligations.