Probably best to avoid a state marriage license

[MaineShark]

Does NH treat common law marriage differently?   In IL, they treated common law couples as married -- licensed or not.

NH does not have common-law marriages, last I checked.  At least, not among the living.

Essentially, if you die, and you were a together for a certain amount of time, they will consider your partner to have been your husband or wife, for purposes of inheritance.

Joe

[SethCohn]

Does NH treat common law marriage differently?   In IL, they treated common law couples as married -- licensed or not.

Yes, NH is different.  NH doesn't recognize common law marriages _except_ when one of the two dies, it's basically a widow's benefits issue, otherwise the state stays out of your private business.  This is quite good, and I have personally fought (and won) to keep it this way.

[SethCohn]

Essentially, if you die, and you were a together for a certain amount of time, they will consider your partner to have been your husband or wife, for purposes of inheritance.

slightly simplified, but yes.  It's NOT automatic, in that the other party must want it, and other minor nits.

N.H. RSA 457:39

www.nhbar.org/pdfs/7-02comlaw.pdf

[kola]

no more marriage and no live-ins either.

no thanks.

i have no probs with committment tho'.

Kola

[malcolm]

i have no probs with committment tho'.

Until she starts asking where you've been all the time.  Until you start to wonder where all your time went.
Some times it's better to lease than to buy.   

[kola]

i have no probs with committment tho'.

Until she starts asking where you've been all the time.  Until you start to wonder where all your time went.
Some times it's better to lease than to buy.   

lol..yeah I don't need no damn henpecker.

[porcupine kate]

Marriage in my world has two definitions.

One is a long term loving committed relationship.  These partnerships are wonderful.  People can accomplish great things and be happy having a partner in life.

The other is a legal binding contract that the government sets the rules.  If you don't like these rules and possible penalties don't sign on.

Marriages are like home owner association rules.  Research them all and if you don't like them don't sign on.

If you don't like the government contract draw up your own. 

[John Galt]

Marriage in my world has two definitions.

One is a long term loving committed relationship.  These partnerships are wonderful.  People can accomplish great things and be happy having a partner in life.

The other is a legal binding contract that the government sets the rules.  If you don't like these rules and possible penalties don't sign on.

Marriages are like home owner association rules.  Research them all and if you don't like them don't sign on.

If you don't like the government contract draw up your own. 

I think a private contract would be/ could be well thought out and in the process of the two partners developing the contract they would learn things that might even influence their ultimate decision to sign or not sign the contract.

I think Kate has the right idea and I think it would be fun to actually "practice" these contracts with others just as a learning exercise.  Maybe we could have a class at porcfest if I can make it.

I get first dibs on Kate as a practice partner...lol.

[porcupine kate]

No thank you.

I'm know if you make it to Porc Fest you will encounter quite a few couples that didn't involve the government in there marriages.  They will be more than willing to tell you all about it. 

[mackler]

Marriage in my world has two definitions.

One is a long term loving committed relationship.  These partnerships are wonderful.  People can accomplish great things and be happy having a partner in life.

That's not marriage.  That's just an LTR.  Doesn't require rings.  Doesn't require a wedding.  Doesn't require anyone besides the two participants.

[porcupine kate]

What about a marriage requires anything but the two participants.

I love weddings and all that goes with them.  I've made wedding rings, wedding dresses, tiaras, flowers and put together entire receptions before.  Those things don't make a marriage. The piece of paper doesn't make a marriage.  The Love and commitment to each other does.

People have marriages with out rings.  I work in a jewelry store and I see people buying wedding rings for the first time years after they got married.  Most men in this country didn't start to wear wedding rings until world war II.  10% of men still don't get wedding rings.

People have marriages without weddings.  I know a gay couple that have been together over forty years and they have never had a wedding.

In my most recent relationship we chose not to get legally married for several reasons.  I couldn't stomach the racial history of a marriage license.  I also didn't like the one set of rules and privileges that come with a legally binding marriage.  We set our contract with terms we both wanted.  The only reason we didn't call ourselves husband and wife is because he wanted to go out of system and I didn't.  If the government thought we were separate I would be better protected if he got into trouble.
I think of a marriage as a type of relationship based on how the two people care about each other and treat each other not what the relationship is called.  I've seen people legal married who don't have a marriage.  They are legally bound for financial reasons and that is the only tie between them. 

I have also seen people who can't legal get married and don't live together have a stronger marriage type of relationship than most conventional marriages.

Not being legally married makes a bad break up easier since we don't have to get lawyers or the government involved.  No public documents that can be searched at a town hall or increasingly on the internet. 

[ancapagency]

I think a private contract would be/ could be well thought out and in the process of the two partners developing the contract they would learn things that might even influence their ultimate decision to sign or not sign the contract.

I think Kate has the right idea and I think it would be fun to actually "practice" these contracts with others just as a learning exercise.  Maybe we could have a class at porcfest if I can make it.

Having served as mediator in a few contracts of this sort in the past, I'd be willing to discuss the idea with those interested. 

Furthermore, I do offer my services if anyone wants to work out such a contract with their significant other(s)--I'm open to negotiation on payment terms, and I accept most forms of barter and currency.  Hell, if you've nothing else, I even accept FRNs (as I can still trade them for things of value)

[porcupine kate]

I highly recommend ancapagency as a mediator.  I was very impressed on the occasion I used him as a mediator.

[MaineShark]

Marriage in my world has two definitions.

One is a long term loving committed relationship.  These partnerships are wonderful.  People can accomplish great things and be happy having a partner in life.

That's not marriage.  That's just an LTR.  Doesn't require rings.  Doesn't require a wedding.  Doesn't require anyone besides the two participants.

It can still be a marriage.  That's up to the participants.

My wife and I have two anniversaries.  One is the date that we decided we were husband and wife, and the other is the date that we had a wedding ceremony (which we wrote).  At some point in between is when we started wearing rings, although I don't recall the date, because it was simply the point at which the jeweler had finished sizing them.

At no point in the process was the government ever invited to be party to the relationship.

Joe

[ny2nh]

I do have to agree with Kate that one benefit of opting not to be legally married is that in the event of a break up it is far easier than if legally married. The process of divorcing was much harder than splitting up IMO.

A suggestion to those who enter into some sort of agreement with their partner - consider what happens to joint assets if one party is negligent and causes the break up for reasons other than "irreconcilable differences". That's usually when things get nasty.

I do have to say that I don't plan to ever marry again. When I settle down and say it's forever, I will mean it, but I will not consider myself married then either.