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NH Free Press - anyone feel like proofreading?

Started by Kat Kanning, January 27, 2008, 04:23 PM NHFT

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Kat Kanning


Caleb

Here's what I found on the first page:


CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE VICTORY:

2nd paragraph, 2nd line, unnecessary commas
"They tax you with the threat of penalties if you fail to pay or even make a mistake."

2nd paragraph, 4th line, unnecessary commas, and whether misspelled
"A tax is theft if you do not have a choice in whether you pay it or not."

2nd paragraph, 9th line, uses the word "their", which is plural, used as a pronoun to replace "person" which is singular. Needs to read either "his" or "her": "evict a person from his own home"

4th paragraph, 10th line, the "to" form of the infinitive is used redundantly. "to decide to either to arrest me." One of these "to" should be eliminated, preferably the one prior to "either" since it is best not to split an infinitive. Additionally, there is an unnecessary comma after "Arrest me".

NEVER PUT YOUR FATE IN THE HANDS OF A BUREAUCRACY:

3rd paragraph, 4th line:  "father and I spoke about the fact the armies sometimes go to war." Replace "the" with "that".


Caleb

Page 2:

I trust that you wish to leave the powerful letter from the Sergent unedited?

Other than that, I found only one mistake. the 4th paragraph of Coutu's letter, last word "Meeting" should be plural?

Caleb

Page 3

Ian's article:

4th paragraph, 4th line, "individual's choice to live their life how he wants" you've got a singular and a plural here. needs to be "individual's choice to live his life how he wants" or "her life how she wants".

paragraph 5, 3rd line, I'm not sure, but I think we need a comma right before "but"

Caleb

#19
page 4:

Dave Berman's Article:

2nd paragraph, 3rd line: "their" again used in place of a singular pronoun. should be "his district"

2nd paragraph 7th line, these two independent clauses need separated by more than just a comma. since they are clearly linked, a semicolon would be best: "I use this example; however, I could list ..." technically, I don't think you're supposed to use a linking word like "and" "however" "but" etc. after a semicolon, but that's just one of those stupid rules of grammar that ought to be defied (on par with "Never start a sentence with the word And")

6th paragraph, 1st line. I don't know what you can do about this, since it would require a bit of a rewrite, but the guy says "Now to the 42 Million Dollar question:"  He even then puts a colon after the sentence. The reader naturally expects a question, right? No question is forthcoming. Just more pontificating from the good Dr.

6th paragraph, 14th line:  "shining" is misspelled

2nd column of the Dr's article., 1st line: The first sentence is coming up weird for me. It's a bit garbled, so it might be my pdf reader, but there ought to be a period after "every American." then the next word "But" should be capitalized. As it reads now, it looks like a gigantic run-on sentence. 

Finally, at the end of his article, he lists himself as a Senior Pastor. That feels like it's hanging a little. If you want to say that he's a pastor, that can stand alone, but Senior Pastor is a specific title of a specific position within a specific church. I can't help but feel that if you use Senior Pastor you ought to follow it with "at the name of his church".  Same thing with "convention speaker" it's like, "Huh?" Convention speaker where? North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes Convention? Haitian Refugee convention? Maytag Repairman Convention? Star Trek Convention? I mean, Convention speaker? Sorry, I'm not the biggest fan of Berman, and I know he gave you the self-description, but he tends to be a blowhard and I just think that some of this windbag nonsense is pretty meaningless. Unless he gave you a specific convention that he spoke for, and you want to write up a short bio on him, I would just use Senior Pastor, followed by his church.

Puke's Article:

4th paragraph, 11th line, should be "mind wandering" instead of "mind wondering"

Caleb

Page 5:

Mike Ferner's Article:

Kat, the 3rd paragraph is looking weird to me. Maybe it's just my pdf reader. But it looks like you're trying to start a new paragraph, but didn't indent it. right between "he finally was given at least a blanket." and "With his humanity and graciousness..." Also, the subject matter is pretty much the same as that above it, so there's no reason to start a new paragraph there.



Caleb

page 6:

since this is an article reprinted from mises, I figure it has already been edited. I did not edit this.

Caleb

page 7:

Civil Disobedience

2nd paragraph, 4th line: replace "were" with "where". Should read:  "I am uncertain where this process will eventually end up"



Caleb

Page 8:

My article:

Replace my photo with this one:

;D

Kat Kanning

Wow, Caleb...you look pretty good after giving up meat and doing some juice fasting.  ;)

Thanks so much for all the edits!!  Sending it off to the printer now.

David

 :o  Wow, good job Caleb.  Sorry my writting, uh, sucked, for lack of a better word. 

Kat Kanning

If anyone feels like proofreading, I've put the May issue up.  It's going to the printer tomorrow morning.

http://www.newhampshirefreepress.com/NHFreePress/PDFs/nhfp0508.pdf

TackleTheWorld

Bottom of page 5, quotes.  Gary Lloyd's second l looks fat.

Kat Kanning