What would you do if someone called social services on someone in your family?

[Raineyrocks]

About 3 weeks ago somebody called DCF, (I think that's what it's called in Mass.), on my son/his girlfriend/ their 2 mth old son.

Has anyone ever had dealings with DCF in Mass. or know anything about them ?   

Honestly I don't even know why anyone called or who called as far as I know the baby is being well cared for.  Could it have been a friend that's angry at them, a nosy neighbor that heard an arguement, (sp?)?    I haven't a clue!

We are all very upset, now the state is involved in our family, (well my son's family).  They talked with my son and his girlfriend and said they'd be back in 45 days.  I know they contacted the babies doctor in Mass. because the doctor told my son's girlfriend.  Lawyers cost way too much and I just don't know what the heck to do.

On the downside:   I don't want my son/girlfriend moving back in with us, it took forever for them to leave and they are moochers.  It doesn't mean their baby should be taken away; it means they need to grow up and become responsible for themselves and their son.  My son is supposed to be going to tech school in Mass. starting in January, which is good and he's been looking for a job.   

[neggy]

It was called D.S.S. in my day, Department of Social Services.

DO NOT COOPERATE WITH THEM IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM

Deny them entrance to the property if they show up
Don't speak to them
If they have a place to go hide out for a few weeks tell them to go lay low.

[Raineyrocks]

It was called D.S.S. in my day, Department of Social Services.

DO NOT COOPERATE WITH THEM IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM

Deny them entrance to the property if they show up
Don't speak to them
If they have a place to go hide out for a few weeks tell them to go lay low.

Thanks, but it's too late!     They live in Massachussetts, not next to me or I would have told them at the time not to talk to them or let them in.   They're young and naive even though I told them if this ever happened to do exactly what you suggested. 

They already let them in the day they, (dss), came walking down the road after sitting in their car and watching my son/his girl and my grandson sitting out on their steps for awhile.   My son didn't call me right away because he was trying to figure out who called for a day or 2 before he called me.    I told him I hope I wasn't on their list of suspects who may have called and I also told him he'd probably never freakin find out anyway so don't blame people unless they make a confession.   I do understand his anger that someone called but what's the point of directing your energy on that when you have to figure out how to keep your baby from social services.

Can they just say screw Mass. and move somewhere to New Hampshire?  Would social services follow them here?  The problem with that too would be that they'd need to move into a low income housing place so the state would probably have their names for that, right?   I can't let them live here no matter what, so much stuff happened when they lived here.  I don't want to get into everything but it's out of the question or I would.

[neggy]

Anyone can go to the local PD and file a 51A report which the PD has to forward to DSS in a short amount of time.

So anyone could drop a dime on them anonymously with or without cause.

Then there are the mandatory reporters Doctors, teachers, a long list. Anyone they came in contact with could have dimed them.

The question, besides resisting DSS, which I advocate, is why they were being investigated? DSS must have told them something.

The next question is the accusation true?

[Raineyrocks]

Anyone can go to the local PD and file a 51A report which the PD has to forward to DSS in a short amount of time.

So anyone could drop a dime on them anonymously with or without cause.

Then there are the mandatory reporters Doctors, teachers, a long list. Anyone they came in contact with could have dimed them.

The question, besides resisting DSS, which I advocate, is why they were being investigated? DSS must have told them something.

The next question is the accusation true?

They, (son/girlfriend),  keep saying they have nothing in writing so I'm trying to find out how to get something with an initial allegation written on it.   

They are not a perfect couple, fights, mooching off of people but I do know that my grandson is taken care of otherwise I would've taken the baby until they got their crap, (regarding the care of the baby), together.   I wouldn't have called dss to get the baby though; I firmly believe in leaving the govt. out of my familie's business to the best of my ability anyway.

I asked my son if he has gotten any notice in the mail about the 45 day visit and he said, "no".   Don't they have to inform them of the day they are coming?    I figure maybe it will help if I go to Mass. on that day and sit in on this evaluation or whatever it's called.  What do you think?   Should I just go ahead and call the dss office?

[Raineyrocks]

Oh yeah and that's another thing when the 2 dss ladies were in their house they asked my son/his girl who they would want the baby placed with, is that normal? 

[Sam A. Robrin]

Anyone can go to the local PD and file a 51A report which the PD has to forward to DSS in a short amount of time.

So anyone could drop a dime on them anonymously with or without cause.

I can think of a good use for about 500 of those forms . . .

[Recumbent ReCycler]

I'm not sure about MA, but in NH you can send a FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) request, and they are required to send you a copy of their files, which they would use black marker on to hide the name(s) of whoever said anything about them.

[Raineyrocks]

I'm not sure about MA, but in NH you can send a FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) request, and they are required to send you a copy of their files, which they would use black marker on to hide the name(s) of whoever said anything about them.

Awesome suggestion, thanks!   I will google it now and see what I come up with for Mass., I just wonder if dss has it's own set of rules.  

It's ironic but when Jane was talking to me at the pizza place the night we moved here, I told her social services was one of by biggest issues with the retarded govt.   I wonder if this is my chance to get anything at all changed for the better within this corrupt, child snatching illegal filthpit of a "system".
I know some kids/babies are really abused but I bet more are abused in foster care and I know there are some good foster care homes but the reasons they remove most of these kids from their parents/homes are ridiculous.  It also brings more revenue in for their state for each kid that is "placed".   It's a disgusting, pathetic world when money matters more than innocence, it makes me sick and real mad.

Sorry for my rant! 

[Raineyrocks]

I'm still looking up info about FOIA regarding this in Massachusetts but I'm taking a break right now.  It's difficult to narrow it down to dcf information for some reason.  I've run into websites telling me how to file a request but not with a specific agency. 

Basically almost ever website I've seen states, "get a lawyer", but with what?   They are so damn expensive.  We have no equity in the house, well about $1,000, because Rick and I already talked about refinancing to get a lawyer.  We want to put the house up for sale and move however if we had $$ in this house to refinance to get a lawyer we would for our grandson's sake.     It's so frustrating!

I of course ran into heart wrenching websites about children/babies that have been abused in homes and foster care so that's why I'm taking a break.   I can't handle reading and thinking about innocent beings treated that way, it starts to drive me nuts!

[Porcupine_in_MA]

A child services person came to the front door of the apartment building I lived in, when I live in Taxachusetts and I refused to let them in the building under any circumstances. The fuckhead got indignant with me and made all kinds of threats. Do not pass go, do not collect a hundred tax dollars.

[Raineyrocks]

A child services person came to the front door of the apartment building I lived in, when I live in Taxachusetts and I refused to let them in the building under any circumstances. The fuckhead got indignant with me and made all kinds of threats. Do not pass go, do not collect a hundred tax dollars.

I wish they never let them in but they got scared and when people get scared they do some dumb ass things.  I'm sure those assholes can be intimidating or maybe even play the nice game.  Sure they know they can dangle something you love so much as ransom over your head to jump through their hoops or they'll take it away.  The thing they don't want to see though is that "it" is a person, a baby, a child!  Good for you though!   I can't stand the scumbags!   They better leave my grandson alone damn it!
I had dealings with them in Philadelphia, it's a long story but it was a bunch of bullshit I can assure you of that.  I fought them tooth and nail and won, the mother freakers!   I also got my record expunged because no one is going to tell me I can't work in a day care, (even though I didn't want to anyway), when I didn't do shit wrong.   

That's not why I hate them I always have because I've read stories, I know about them and I also have seen innocent people go through hell for nothing because of these shitheads.  My son and his girlfriend won't be able to do this on their own, they get intimidated too quickly and my son has a bad temper.  It has to be handled cleverly I believe and I'm not sure what I can do as a grandmother.  Plus when I went up against them it was a different state and about 16 years ago.     I'm sure they've probably got more powers now and are much worse.  The weird thing is that I had things in writing from them in Philly I don't understand why there is no paperwork being given to my son.

I had a friend of mine's daughter go into school, she was around 14, pissed at her mother and told the nurse that her mother pushed her and scratched her.  My friend had to go to parenting classes, investigations, anger management, she had to pay for it, miss work for court appointments etc.

My son threatened to call them on me when he was 8, he had just learned about it in school so he wanted to see if he could get his own way by threatening me with them, this was a few years after I had been through that other crap with them.  I told him it would take about 10 minutes for the cops to get there and if I was going to jail it was going to be for a reason so go ahead and make that call.  He never threatened me again.   I know alot of people are non violent but none of my kids are going to ever threaten me with that crap.  The schools and state want kids to know they have this power over their parents and I say screw the schools and state. 

Sorry for another rant, this stuff just boils my blood!

[Recumbent ReCycler]

I understand what you're saying.  They use lies and intimidation to get people to cooperate.  I suspect that may be partly why my wife filed an order of protection against me from NY, even though I didn't know that she was even there.  My mom told me that my wife's mother had told her that the CPS people in NY had claimed that if she didn't file the order of protection against me, they would probably charge her with child abuse (even though they didn't have jurisdiction).  She also said that they told her that she was not allowed to contact me or she would get into trouble.  I don't know for sure if those things are true, but I wouldn't put it past them.  From what I've heard, it sounds like my wife let CPS workers take our children many times for questioning and "therapy".  The accusations that were made were extremely vague, and in court they admitted that (on the 22nd day of their "investigation") they didn't have any evidence of wrongdoing, but they said they needed more time with the children to complete the "investigation", and that if I were allowed to see them it might affect the outcome.  I haven't seen my children since June, and it's been over 3 months since I've talked with my wife or children.  The court hearing (where I wasn't allowed to present evidence because the court didn't have jurisdiction (but was exercising it anyway)) was on September 16th.  I'm not allowed to have any contact with them until January 30th, unless I file something in NH before then and a judge decides to allow communication.  I need to sell more of my stuff so that I can pony up the cash to start the process.  I miss them terribly.

[Raineyrocks]

I understand what you're saying.  They use lies and intimidation to get people to cooperate.  I suspect that may be partly why my wife filed an order of protection against me from NY, even though I didn't know that she was even there.  My mom told me that my wife's mother had told her that the CPS people in NY had claimed that if she didn't file the order of protection against me, they would probably charge her with child abuse (even though they didn't have jurisdiction).  She also said that they told her that she was not allowed to contact me or she would get into trouble.  I don't know for sure if those things are true, but I wouldn't put it past them.  From what I've heard, it sounds like my wife let CPS workers take our children many times for questioning and "therapy".  The accusations that were made were extremely vague, and in court they admitted that (on the 22nd day of their "investigation") they didn't have any evidence of wrongdoing, but they said they needed more time with the children to complete the "investigation", and that if I were allowed to see them it might affect the outcome.  I haven't seen my children since June, and it's been over 3 months since I've talked with my wife or children.  The court hearing (where I wasn't allowed to present evidence because the court didn't have jurisdiction (but was exercising it anyway)) was on September 16th.  I'm not allowed to have any contact with them until January 30th, unless I file something in NH before then and a judge decides to allow communication.  I need to sell more of my stuff so that I can pony up the cash to start the process.  I miss them terribly.

Oh man, that really, really sucks!      Son of a bitches!   Can your wife just move to NH from NY with the kids?   I don't know the way it works with just leaving state once they have their creepy tentacles around your life.

[Recumbent ReCycler]

I understand what you're saying.  They use lies and intimidation to get people to cooperate.  I suspect that may be partly why my wife filed an order of protection against me from NY, even though I didn't know that she was even there.  My mom told me that my wife's mother had told her that the CPS people in NY had claimed that if she didn't file the order of protection against me, they would probably charge her with child abuse (even though they didn't have jurisdiction).  She also said that they told her that she was not allowed to contact me or she would get into trouble.  I don't know for sure if those things are true, but I wouldn't put it past them.  From what I've heard, it sounds like my wife let CPS workers take our children many times for questioning and "therapy".  The accusations that were made were extremely vague, and in court they admitted that (on the 22nd day of their "investigation") they didn't have any evidence of wrongdoing, but they said they needed more time with the children to complete the "investigation", and that if I were allowed to see them it might affect the outcome.  I haven't seen my children since June, and it's been over 3 months since I've talked with my wife or children.  The court hearing (where I wasn't allowed to present evidence because the court didn't have jurisdiction (but was exercising it anyway)) was on September 16th.  I'm not allowed to have any contact with them until January 30th, unless I file something in NH before then and a judge decides to allow communication.  I need to sell more of my stuff so that I can pony up the cash to start the process.  I miss them terribly.

Oh man, that really, really sucks!      Son of a bitches!   Can your wife just move to NH from NY with the kids?   I don't know the way it works with just leaving state once they have their creepy tentacles around your life.

She could just move away from NY, but I don't think she knows that, and I'm not allowed to tell her.