I'll need a ride, of course--and I'll be rehearsing this:
DOGFISH HEAD IPA
I was out driving with a friend of mine
Home from a party. We were feeling fine.
I said, "Let's run in to the roadside Pick-N-Pay--
I want to get a package of
Dogfish Head IPA."
Wouldn't you know it? Then we saw a cop
Just as I'd church-keyed off a bottle top.
He shined in his Maglite and blurted out, "O-kay!
I see that open bottle of
Dogfish Head IPA!"
He swaggered and strutted and showed off his tin.
He asked where we're going, and where we had been.
He said to tell him if the cuffs were chafing our skin.
We said they were, he said, "That's good."
He ran us in.
"I could go easy," he said, dangling bait,
"But I can see you won't cooperate.
To make sure there's evidence to put you both away,
I'll confiscate this bottle of
Dogfish Head IPA."
Detainment, arraignment, then bail and a trial . . .
(You know the State--they had to drag it out for a while.)
The cop took the stand, I approached with my file,
He testified, I showed he lied--
I had to smile.
The judge herself could see right through his tricks.
I'd had a four-pack, he insisted six.
It sure helped my case that they package them that way.
I always will be grateful to
Dogfish Head IPA.
"Open and shut," the prosecutor'd bragged
Waving that bottle picturesquely tagged.
But still they let me go, and when proceedings were done,
I asked and they returned me State's
Exhibit Number One:
Dogfish Head IPA . . .
Dogfish Head IPA . . .
[
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rXhXLsNJL8 if anyone needs it . . .]
