Urinary Adventures

[dalebert]

Sorry. It's hard to think of a good name for this particular crisis, the kind we sometimes experience in the search for a place to go when we have to go.

So earlier today I attended my first Quaker meeting. I could talk about my spiritual experience there, but I've decided instead to talk about finding a place to pee. Don't judge me!

Keith pointed me in the right direction as soon as we arrived and off I went, my hopes of finding a suitable spot to pee still quite intact. It was further than I thought so I went back and forth a couple times and opened some odd doors wondering if I'd missed it but eventually I found it. It was like freaky dark in there and I couldn't find a light switch. I mean it was PITCH BLACK. It was pretty dark in the hallway outside as well so no light was getting in. I was literally looking for a switch for like 10 minutes. Eventually I managed to find a light switch for the hallway/room nearby and click that on and even then it only let a tiny bit of light into the restroom. I could just make out outlines of things and I even had to feel around a little to make sure it really was a urinal in front me and not a sink or something else. Eventually I built up the nerve to do my best to aim into that urinal in the dark and do my business. I was almost sent into a panic attack because it was so much like anxiety dreams I have when I go to bed after drinking too close to bedtime and have to pee. I end up dreaming that I'm looking for a restroom or a place to pee in private and can't find it. Sometimes I start peeing and then realize I'm peeing into something that's not appropriate. Then I pee for a while but it seems like I'm getting no relief and just keep peeing and peeing and peeing until I wake up. No, I've never actually wet my bed from these dreams. Go figure. I guess what makes it so freaky is that my dreams can be extremely realistic sometimes and I find myself wondering if I'm dreaming, so I was in this scenario feeling like I was losing touch with reality or something. Am I dreaming or is this real life? It was very surreal after walking down that long windy hallway and then the restroom had no light switch. Is there even a real life or is it all just a dream within a dream within a dream, and does it ever end? Ever since my bad salvia trip, sometimes I start thinking like that and it really freaks me out.

But anyway, I peed and rinsed my hands and managed to flounder around and find paper towels and finally got back to the meeting. Fortunately, reality did not to collapse in upon itself... this day.

[thinkliberty]

I'd like to hear your spiritual experience if you care to share it.

[dalebert]

I'd like to hear your spiritual experience if you care to share it.

Uh! You're trolling the urinary adventures thread with spiritual diversions!

[Sam A. Robrin]

I'd like to hear your spiritual experience if you care to share it.

In true Quaker fashion, he was seeking ways to bring out the piss within him . . .

[Pat K]

[KBCraig]

Hey, NoobK, 13GB.com does not allow hotlinking, thanks.

[Pat K]

oh well.

[KBCraig]

 

[thinkliberty]

I'd like to hear your spiritual experience if you care to share it.

Uh! You're trolling the urinary adventures thread with spiritual diversions!

Well I've heard about holy shit, but never a holy pee or piss. I thought by the way you worded it that you had an experience.

[dalebert]

Well I guess you could call it an experience. Everything in our lives is, after all. It's just not appropriate for this thread.  Better yet, this thread is not appropriate for it.

[liftsboxes]

The salvia version ...

[Raineyrocks]

The salvia version ...

Far out!   I've got to try some of that stuff. 

[Lloyd Danforth]

It still wouldn't equip you to use a urinal! Probably ruin whatever aim that you had!

[Raineyrocks]

It still wouldn't equip you to use a urinal! Probably ruin whatever aim that you had!

I'm confused. 

[Raineyrocks]

I have a cute urinary adventure:

On the way back from Maryland with the grandboys we pulled over at a resting area to stretch our legs.   So anyways I took a walk and was texting Rick sex texts and all of a sudden I hear all of this screaming then laughter coming from the van.

I ran over to see what I was going on and I found out that one of my grandsons had to go pee and my kids told him to pee in a cup. 

Well instead of bending his "you know" down into the cup he was holding the cup in his lap and peeing straight up in the air, all over the ceiling of the minivan and it was dropping back down on his face.

This is the kid that made fun of me before for peeing in a cup because I was a girl and boys could just go behind a tree!

I have no idea why he didn't get out of the van and pee behind a tree and his aunts/uncle weren't trying to play a joke on him because they were shocked, then the laughter started.

On the bright side, I bet he'll bend it next time or go behind a tree and my Nana always told me pee is actually good for your complexion.  I never asked how she knew.