Landmark Decision in 24 Hours of LeMons v. United States

[Pat McCotter]

Landmark Decision in 24 Hours of LeMons v. United States

San Francisco CA--The $500-car race 24 Hours of LeMons' restraint-of-trade suit against the federal government, which had demanded an immediate end to Washington's Cash for Clunkers program, has been successful.

After conferring with counsel this morning, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration announced Cash for Clunkers would end next Monday at 8pm EST.

In court papers filed last Wednesday, LeMons creator Jay Lamm asserted that by buying and crushing a half-million unsafe, fuel-swilling, smog-belching crapheaps, the government had created "...a federal subsidy not to participate in the 24 Hours of LeMons." America's horrible-shitbox-racing industry could therefore be decimated, the lawsuit contended, causing job losses deep into single digits.

"Every '92 Sunbird destroyed by this government death panel," an emotional Lamm told a rally outside the Federal Ninth Circuit Court building, "is a '92 Sunbird that can't be destroyed by bad racedriving." Supporters held signs emblazoned with the president's image above the word "HOOPtie," and a Renault Fuego Turbo set itself on fire in a last grisly act of solidarity.

Amicus briefs to the suit had been filed by veteran Alfa Romeo dealer Martin Swig, the Yugo Owners Anti-Defamation League of America, and Carlo Petroli, founder of Europe's so-called Slow Car Movement. Slow Car adherents reject modern industrial carmaking in favor of earlier methods, such as Britain's reliance on malevolent trolls.

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24 Hours of LeMons
5675-C Horton Street
Emeryville CA 94608
510.655.5980

[Pat K]