101 reasons why you shouldn't move to Grafton

[Russell Kanning]

this topic has not shown up on Free Grafton yet, so I am starting it here
also i don't know if that site links to this one yet

#12 Jason Talley is annoyingly upbeat
#23 There are no traffic lights in town (better version coming)
#50 High density housing going on at Agorist Acres
#51 inadequate regulation of small businesses
#7 no zoning
#28 the planning board has not come up with a new 5 year plan now for 200 years

[Kat Kanning]

Only 1.5 cops.  Who will come if you call 911?

[Lex]

here is some stuff off the top of my head:

there is no reliable high speed internet
there are no decent grocery (any) stores within 20 miles or so
few paved roads
no cell service
forget about starbucks
no staffed fire department
no staffed ambulance department
few roads have signs indicating what they are
no real streets
no garbage pickup
no cable TV
no sewer system
no water system
no distributed natural gas system
far from just about everything
lots of strange people
no schools
people shooting low and high caliber weapons in their backyards at all hours of the day and night
no curfew
no noise ordinance
fire permits required

[Mike Barskey]

Lex, why are you here? Even if I disregard that you either ignored or didn't understand that this thread is humorous (i.e., it does not list reasons to actually NOT move here), your list of negatives for Grafton is extensive and significant. Actually, I disagree that some of them are negatives, but your list seems quite serious about how bad it is here. WHy not move?

[KBCraig]

Of Lex's list, only internet service and fire permits are negatives. 

[MaineShark]

Of Lex's list, only internet service and fire permits are negatives. 

Seriously.  And fire permits are a State thing (although a fire chief who was less of a jackass wouldn't hurt).

I expect a number of folks wouldn't even view the lack of high speed Internet as a bad thing; lots of folks preferred the pre-broadband world (when stories about cute pets involved your own pet, or that of an acquaintance, not a "lolcat").

Joe

[Russell Kanning]

aha
i guess lex's list is long

[Kat Kanning]

Bears eat your garbage.

[Free libertarian]

Many people in Grafton still believe in the right to arm bears.   

[Kat Kanning]

Well isn't that just special?  So we have to deal with them stealing our garbage AND shooting at us?

[Lex]

I'm here because I love Grafton and this is my home.

I didn't realize people would get offended by my list. This is after all the "101 reasons why you shouldn't move to Grafton". I can't believe someone would click on this thread and be surprised to see "reasons why you shouldn't move to Grafton".

My list is also nowhere near 101 so to call it "extensive" I think is an exaggeration.

Anyways, I've always believed comedy was especially funny when there is a silver lining of truth.

[Free libertarian]

After a tense standoff, a negotiated truce was arrived at today in Grafton, militant bears agreed to lay down their arms if Lex would agree to another vowel in his last name preferably between consonants.   

[KBCraig]

After a tense standoff, a negotiated truce was arrived at today in Grafton, militant bears agreed to lay down their arms if Lex would agree to another vowel in his last name preferably between consonants.   

Could be the start of a vowel movement.

[dalebert]

He pretty much listed most of the reasons I'm not there right now.  I think it's good people know what they're getting into so there's no buyer's remorse.  I am honest with people about Keene's pluses and minuses.  There's no use pumping up their expectations to get them to move here only for them to find out it's not true later.  If someone talks about wanting to be in a big city and wants great opportunities for tech jobs or what not, I will tell them right out that Manch is better for stuph like that.  If they want politics, I tell them Concord is the heart of that but they could be a big fish in a small pond in Keene.  Honesty really is the best policy.

[Free libertarian]

After a tense standoff, a negotiated truce was arrived at today in Grafton, militant bears agreed to lay down their arms if Lex would agree to another vowel in his last name preferably between consonants.   

Could be the start of a vowel movement.

...straddling the alphabet fence the "Y" was torn between loyalties to the consonant camp and the vowel movement.