HUMOR

[Raineyrocks]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

Brilliant!  I loved it, thanks for posting this Dalebert!

[Pat McCotter]

.

[BaRbArIaN]

Politicians in Hell
===============================================

While walking down the street one day a US senator is
tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts,
you see, so we''re not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I''d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we''ll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
where to spend eternity."

"Really, I''ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the
senator.

"I''m sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle
of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing
in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had
worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a
good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St.
Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it''s time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and
St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you''ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I
think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he''s in the middle of a barren
land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder."I
don''t understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and
there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar,
drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there''s just a
wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What
happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning. ..... Today you voted."

[BaRbArIaN]

Cowboy and the Yuppie
=======================================



A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.


The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, ''If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?''

Bud looks at the man, who is obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, ''Sure, Why not?''

The yuppie parks his car , whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, ''You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.''

''That''s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,'' says
Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, ''Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?''

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, ''Okay, why not?''

''You''re a Congressman for the U.S. Government'', says Bud.

''Wow! That''s correct, '' says the yuppie, ''but how did you guess
that?''

''No guessing required..'' answered the cowboy. ''You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don''t know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog!!!

[Jennifer]

On the off chance that anyone hasn't already seen this:

Sarah Silverman wants you to know that she's !@#$ing Matt Damon!

NSFW

Hehe

[Pat McCotter]

The First IT Pro
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo53pQXHxBI

[dalebert]

Don't say the pledge!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVKj35b2gBI

[lildog]

Yup, the front fell off.

[dalebert]

The Wonder Quins

I've expanded on yesterday's comic for those who were confused by it. There is now a video of the Wonder Twins. That should give you the context you need to "get it".

http://anarchyinyourhead.com/2008/08/29/the-wonder-quins/

[dalebert]

I've just applied yet another hot fix to this comic strip. I'm sure there's something immoral about this. Not sure why. It's like Spielberg edited E.T. to make the guns look like walky talkies. See if it makes any more sense. *shrug*

http://anarchyinyourhead.com/2008/08/29/the-wonder-quins/

[Lloyd Danforth]

Politicians in Hell
===============================================

a US senator is
tragically hit by a truck and dies.

Tragically?

[K. Darien Freeheart]

On the off chance that anyone hasn't already seen this:

Sarah Silverman wants you to know that she's !@#$ing Matt Damon!

NSFW

You've seen Jimmy Kimmel's response, I take it?

[dalebert]

I've just applied yet another hot fix to this comic strip. I'm sure there's something immoral about this. Not sure why. It's like Spielberg edited E.T. to make the guns look like walky talkies. See if it makes any more sense. *shrug*

http://anarchyinyourhead.com/2008/08/29/the-wonder-quins/

OK, this is really bizarre to me. Is there not ONE person out there who got this humor? Even after I changed it to make it a bit less subtle? I'm beginning to think this is a "Cow Tools" comic strip. That's a Far Side reference, btw. Once again, I am being obscure. 

[Lloyd Danforth]

Can you do a 'reference' one to Popeye or Mighty Mouse?

[Pat K]

Can you do a 'reference' one to Popeye or Mighty Mouse?

Or-