HUMOR

[Raineyrocks]

Thanks for posting that Pat!     Is that the same thing that your link was about KB?


I'm confused though, sorry.  Okay, here goes:

1.  Did the sharp toothbrush weapon just appear in Chapter six because he wanted it to or did his cell mate put it in there for him?

2. What way was his life changed by all the visualization he did while in solitary confinement?  Maybe that was just left for speculation?

Yes.
For the better.
yes.

Thank you! 

[Friday]

In honor of our new President and First Lady, both of whom are lawyers:

An elderly woman came to an attorney for the drafting of her will, for which the attorney charged $100. She gave him a $100 bill without noticing that a second $100 bill had stuck to it.

Immediately, the ethical question arose in the attorney's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"

[Friday]

The one in the middle is dressed like a doctor to help the other ones when they get beat up.

[dalebert]

The one in the middle is dressed like a doctor to help the other ones when they get beat up.

I didn't think the teletubbies could get any gayer. I stand corrected.

[lildog]

That picture is just wrong on so many different levels.

[dalebert]

I think we need a healthy dose of the MANTage to cut through that gayness like a knife!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvltzwkUEEA

[dalebert]

No Porn in China

This guy's great. He does short (usually < 3 mins) videos regularly and just makes fun of things. He'll lighten your day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-6Gx_0VCXY

[Lloyd Danforth]

Obviously not me.

________________________________-

The Black Bra ....

The other day I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have  been married for 20+ years.  We were chatting about
our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing
a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heel s and a mask over
just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here's how it all went:

My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing
a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said,  'You are the woman of my dreams.
I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and
I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask
over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat
he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather
bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my
eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said...
"What's for dinner, Batman?"

[Friday]

letter of complaint to Richard Branson, owner of Virgin Airlines (note: the photos that go along with the article are important)

Dear Mr Branson

REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008 ...

[Lloyd Danforth]

That could only be funnier if John Cleeves was reciting it

[Jim Johnson]

Pig vs Girl   http://www.girlvspig.com/archives/her1.html

[Friday]

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.' 
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased . . . . . .

And Dog was happy. . . . .


And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other....

[dalebert]

Future LEOs?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iKY1NSiYzA

[Lloyd Danforth]

IRISH LENT


>
> An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry , walks
> into the
> pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his
> eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks
> quietly at a
> table, alone.
>
>
> An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders
> three
> more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again
> orders
> and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire
> town
> is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.
>
>
> Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on
> behalf of
> the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are
> wondering
> why you always order three beers?"
>
>
> "Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two
> brothers,
> and one went to America , and the other to Australia . We
> promised
> each other that we would always order an extra two beers
> whenever we
> drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."
>
>
> The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer,
> and
> soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and
>
> source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that
> out-of-towners
> would come to watch him drink.
>
>
> Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The
> bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the
> rest
> of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around
> town.
> Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.
>
>
> The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here,
> me
> first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of
> your
> brother. You know-the two beers and all"
>
>
> The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be
> happy to
> hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I,
> meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent

[dalebert]

The good ole pee prank! This is hilarious, and really short.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le4ZQrV0Xbk