HUMOR

[Jim Johnson]

Bacon Cookies!

OMG!!!!

OMG!!!!

[Lloyd Danforth]

   
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably
won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but ... something happened. I'm
trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your Willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'

The man groans, but he doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new Willy that will work as well as your old one did -better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap.  It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife.  I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed.. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has,' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.






'We're getting granite countertops.'

[dalebert]

In honor of 4/20...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ9wtQkSHqw

[dalebert]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgVEf2kUweU

[KBCraig]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uwY3sjqYX0

[Friday]

the recession hits L.A.

[Pat K]

This guy must be related to me.

Enjoy!

[dalebert]

A new kind of fascism.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9_kahA_wQo

[Pat K]

A conversation with the ten year-old.

    "For the third time.  Do your homework."

    "I HATE homework.  Why should I do it!"

    "You need to do your homework so you can get into college and get a good job."

    "Oh, Dad," (exasperated), "by the time I'm ready to go to college I'll be able to download the answers directly into my brain in twenty seconds!"

[Friday]

"Democracy and humanitarianism have always been trademarks of the British Army."

Monty Python - Marching Up and Down the Square

[Humorrhoid]

A woman in New Delhi India is asking the public for assistance.She is looking for an alternative way to
commit suicide the natural way. She is a vegetarian all her life
& seeks homeopathic ways to end her suffering. She believes that her soul should be purely organic in nature in order to get to heaven.

Reporting from New Delhi Psyche Ward
Reuters

[Lloyd Danforth]

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his
gloves. 

'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.

No, I don't,' she replied.

'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank
of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,
then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'

She didn't crack a smile.

'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

'What's so funny?' he asked.
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'

[Humorrhoid]

  

[Humorrhoid]

Mail Order Bride :

Buy 3 get one free.

[Kat Kanning]

Offer only good in Utah.