I'm so mad at Rick and this time I might be for a long time

[Raineyrocks]

I don't care if it's immature but I'm not even talking to him right now!

It seems to me that my thoughts and feelings don't matter to him at all and it's getting very annoying.  If I start an argument, (sp?), it's only considered legitimate if he thinks so, it's so unfair.

Oh yeah, and then when I want to talk about it he leaves the room, last night he went to bed at 6 pm so actually he left the room for over 12 hours!  Then when he's ready to talk, I'm supposed to just forget that he didn't want to talk when I did and just jump up and talk with him!  Nope, not this time!

[jerryswife]

Just a suggestion, but you might try starting a discussion rather than starting an argument.  If my spouse started an argument with me I would want to leave the room too.  Sometimes discussions escalate into arguments but try not to start out with one.

I hope things work out.

[Jim Johnson]

You and Rick have built some walls.  Walls are built to prevent further emotional injury.
His wall, most likely, is not there because of something you did.
When he walks away he is telling you that this thing, what ever it was, is one of the walls.   
You have have to find out why that wall is there, gently.  That almost always requires a councilor.

And what jerryswife said.

[Raineyrocks]

Just a suggestion, but you might try starting a discussion rather than starting an argument.  If my spouse started an argument with me I would want to leave the room too.  Sometimes discussions escalate into arguments but try not to start out with one.

I hope things work out.

True, and I should correct myself I did start a discussion but it was stuff that made him upset so then an argument ensued.  I'll admit usually I start an argument but this time I said to myself, no handle this differently and the outcome was the same, that's what irks me too.   The argument came as he was leaving the room to avoid the discussion. 

Thanks, they usually do work out until the next time. 

[Raineyrocks]

You and Rick have built some walls.  Walls are built to prevent further emotional injury.
His wall, most likely, is not there because of something you did.
When he walks away he is telling you that this thing, what ever it was, is one of the walls.   
You have have to find out why that wall is there, gently.  That almost always requires a councilor.

And what jerryswife said.

Yeah, that makes sense Jim except for the fact that Rick must have a castle of walls because he walks away from every little issue.  One of my problems is that my dad used to do the same thing to my mom so I feel like I'm re-living their situation kind of and I think I'm unfair to Rick because it's not Rick's fault that my dad used to do that but it still makes me mad.

As far as a counselor I have a hard time trusting any outside source like that when they have certain laws they have to follow, you know what I mean?

[Jim Johnson]

You found the security of familiarity in the way Rick treats you, it's the same way your Dad treated you. 
That would be a reason why you chose Rick.
You don't have to live like that or pass it on to your children.

[Raineyrocks]

You found the security of familiarity in the way Rick treats you, it's the same way your Dad treated you. 
That would be a reason why you chose Rick.
You don't have to live like that or pass it on to your children.

No, I meant my dad treated my mom that way by walking out all the time when she wanted to talk to him.  I guess that's the only similarity with Rick and my dad, so that's good.  Maybe I should just let Rick walk away without following him and stop demanding on the spot talking?

[Jim Johnson]

That would be a wall that you would construct to protect yourself.
Eventually you and Rick will just sit quietly and not say anything to each other for fear of an argument.
Nothing will be settled and there will be no happiness.

[Raineyrocks]

That would be a wall that you would construct to protect yourself.
Eventually you and Rick will just sit quietly and not say anything to each other for fear of an argument.
Nothing will be settled and there will be no happiness.

That is so true!  Wow, that really hit home and made me feel sad but I'm glad you posted it because it also made me realize how important it is to change this cycle we're in before it gets that bad.  I'm going to talk to him, nicely of course, right now.  Thanks so much Jim. 

[Pat K]

We probably need a dear Jimby board.

[Raineyrocks]

We probably need a dear Jimby board.

Yeah, Jim gave great advice!