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I don't know.

Started by Alex Libman, September 24, 2011, 01:34 AM NHFT

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Alex Libman

I am a broken man.

Broken in every way - physically, mentally, psychologically, spiritually.

Absolutely positively alone in this world.

Scared of my own reflection.  Scared of daylight.  Of everyone and everything.

The harder I struggle for truth, the more agony engulfs me.

After 30 years, my life's only accomplishments are my writings - scattered, burning, turning into dust.

Universally hated.  Universally rejected.  Universally ignored.

Every time I think I can start something, I get discouraged and destroy it after only a few steps.

The pain keeps getting worse and worse and worse.

Wake up, spill my soul onto some of the dozen forums until my eyes hurt like they're on fire, collapse from exhaustion.

I tried everything.  I looked everywhere.  There is no way out.

Surrender is a sin.  Death is the greatest sin of all.

Between the world of the living and the dead - a state of being I cannot describe in words.

I know what I know.  Apparently it's not enough.  An illusion?!  No, it cannot be.

Having tasted heaven with my mind, I cannot live on earth.

How will this finally end?  I don't know. 

I don't know.

Kat Kanning

Sorry to hear it  :(  What would happen if you lived for helping others?

Alex Libman

It's over.

After 5+ years of caring about nothing but the FSP, I must finally, finally, finally, FINALLY surrender.  The bullies and book-burners have triumphed.  Intellect, liberty, and humanity have lost...

The Free State Project is dead.  Liberty is dead.  I've made debating for liberty the primary purpose of my life, but everything I've been debating for has been proven wrong.  The tyrants have won.  Or maybe they won from the start, and FSP was nothing but an O'Brien created to lure me in and destroy me.  It worked...

It is very clear at this point who FSP's Stalin is, and his power is becoming absolute.  Uncle Sam is a teddy bear in comparison.

Lloyd Danforth


Russell Kanning

debating is your purpose in life?

Tom Sawyer

Alex, dude... step away from the computer. It'll be okay.

I've just got to ask, who gets to be Uncle Joe Stalin? Because you could Photoshop him up and laugh about... I'd laugh with you.  :)

Ah heck I'll do it for you.   >:D

Uncle Ian
;D  ;D  ;D


The latest Shire Player Card


Alex Libman

Can't sleep.  Can't work.  Living on about a dollar a day for food.  Will probably become homeless next week.  But the only thing I can think about is the libricide, and my crucifixion, and my expulsion from the Free State Project.  I tried a thousand different things to get on with my life - a thousand failures.  The only thing I can do is shake in hateful indignation and pain.  No one will help me, only stab me in the back.  FSP sucked everything out of me.  I have nothing left.

Death is the only way out.

Death is the only way out.

Death is the only way out.

littlehawk

Het Alex, see the moon video thread. That should perk you up.

lildog

See this is a perfect example of why prostitution needs to be legal.  Alex clearly needs to get laid badly.  It would change his whole outlook on life.

Raineyrocks

Quote from: Alex Libman on December 16, 2011, 12:44 AM NHFT
Can't sleep.  Can't work.  Living on about a dollar a day for food.  Will probably become homeless next week.  But the only thing I can think about is the libricide, and my crucifixion, and my expulsion from the Free State Project.  I tried a thousand different things to get on with my life - a thousand failures.  The only thing I can do is shake in hateful indignation and pain.  No one will help me, only stab me in the back.  FSP sucked everything out of me.  I have nothing left.

Death is the only way out.

Death is the only way out.

Death is the only way out.

Most of the time when people are so down the only place to start going is up, I hope this is the case for you.  :)   I don't know any of your history with the FSP or anything but I do hope you hang in there, you never know what tomorrow can hold.  :hug:

Raineyrocks

Quote from: lildog on December 16, 2011, 10:32 AM NHFT
See this is a perfect example of why prostitution needs to be legal.  Alex clearly needs to get laid badly.  It would change his whole outlook on life.

Yup, that's the answer.  ::)   Lildog, you crack me up !  ;D