One Bad Apple-Memorial Day

[sgtusmc]

One Bad Apple-Memorial Day
   No memory, am I looking for pity?  PTSD the unwanted never ends memory conflicting with the pride in what we did with civilized society's condemnation for doing it.  TBI damaged my brain and PTSD cannot find the correct avenues to travel in my head to fit the Dr's protocol to understand.  I have no child hood memory at all until waking up in the Marine Corps as a killing machine.  To use the word kill in a civilized society alarms people in conflict as our government in the MC called us killing Machines.  The Pain in my body from the broken back incurred during one Vietnam Offensive.   My hearing problem from jet blast, explosions and yes the continues effects from my M-16 firing so close to my ear from the next Vietnam offensive are my service-connected disabilities.  The US government has stopped my medical care for these but does care for any other medical need to fluff my medical file incase of investigation.  The newspapers refuse to inform NH Residents of these government wrongs as one bad apple on Memorial Day tries to understand why?
   My attempts at suicide many times since coming back to the world from the Vietnam offensive are all related to flashbacks.  Now my dream of killing my self is to protect the USA from citizens like me that should never have been allowed back for what we did.  You honor and praise the Military just like Memorial Day but you censor our opinion letters because you do not want to hear what we have to say.  Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press how ironic the disabled US Military Veterans has been stopped.  I speak up as I can documents everything I say in my letters but the number of US Military Veterans ignored or dammed by this nation is pathetic.  Ignored or lost in the system, maybe jailed or left to die homeless on the street as the ninety percent of you that never served walk over without even seeing us.  My complaint letters going to the VA everyday are ignored as if the laws do not pertain to disabled veterans in trouble.  My complaint letters every day go to over five thousand email addresses so they must be the complete truth or libel suits would rain down on me. 
   The Truth is a no-body like me is not allowed to speak publicly of criminal wrongs by the NH Supreme Court.  The NH SC refused to hear a case presented to them of Judge Peter Fauver criminally harming our Constitution to let the Madbury selectmen use the trusted power of the people to take from residents they do not want living in their town for the selectmen's own personal gains. 
   The VA Dr takes my handicapped-parking pass as further mental anguish to force my suicide.  The question is am I really here?   Can this be a dream of what I hoped back in the real world would be?  The joke is on me for following the orders while American Advisor on convoy not to lock and load until eminent danger of death.  I killed a child to escape the enemy and now I lay in a benjo ditch as the enemy patrol passes.  I have no real way to tell if I ever got out of there.  We the US Military do not want pity the only thing we wish for is your respect for what we do. 
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi
465 Packers falls Rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217