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Random thoughts about things I've been thinking for the past few days

Started by Raineyrocks, November 19, 2012, 05:36 PM NHFT

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Raineyrocks

I was at the grocery store picking up some stuff we needed and I was watching people shop for things that seemed like Thanksgiving stuff.  I saw donation boxes for food that come out this time of the year and Christmas too and I've always wondered do people without food only need to eat around the holidays or do they make the donated food last all year to help people?  I began to feel anger towards things that don't make sense to me.......like how can all of these people be so happy right now?  Don't they know what is happening in the middle east?  Then I realized I was being judgemental and hypocritical because I don't even know these people and also what am I doing to help anyone.  Nothing, basically, just crying when I read of all of the violence, the murdering of little children, the pain their families must be feeling.  I don't exactly know what I can do but maybe that's how a lot of people feel?

I watched this movie, "The Machine Gun Preacher", several months ago and it's a real life story about this guy that just started doing "something" and wow that was so inspiring!  I decided to have a yard sale and donate the money I got to his organization but then I made up some lame excuse and never did it.  I wonder how I can be so emphatic yet do nothing.

I don't have the slightest idea of where or how to begin........like moving to NH I thought I'd do so much and participate in great things and I've hardly done anything at all.  I have no energy, organization in my brain, and also the worst of all is I have no conviction strong enough to act upon these things.  I feel like what can I do, I'm just one person?  Imagine if Martin Luther King, Jr. said that and just didn't even try. 

When we moved up here we did have meetings, I felt hopeful and that I had given up what I had in Maryland for a "greater cause" and was going to be an "activist" and change things.  The meetings didn't last that long, and I don't believe it was anyone's fault at all but the meetings had no direction.  I think we were focused on different topics and then my head got scattered and that's when I lost focus and just give up.  I loved meeting everyone and getting to know them however I wanted the meetings to be a combination of socializing and strategizing, (sp?),  and it didn't go that way.  Perhaps a lot of people at the meetings felt the same way, I don't know but they ended.

Where do I go from here?  Do I need someone to take me under their wing and show me how it's done?  Can we really change anything or is it just too late?

I thought about the peaceful candlelit vigil I attended in Maryland against the Iraqi invasion and when that mean guy came up to me and said, "If we don't get them, they will get us!"   I was speechless, afterwards I thought of all that I could've said but what good did that do? :-\  His anger shocked me so badly that I didn't know what to say; so if I go hold a sign up somewhere and someone does that to me again, will I have anything meaningful to say?  Would what I have to say change someone that is that mean and ignorant?  I just don't get it.............