(copied from my Facebook feed)
I have a few polite suggestions for the PorcFest volunteers for next year.
More speakers, but only the ones I like. Or maybe you could have less speakers but only the ones I like. Maybe just have no speakers at all. Well, just... please have just the right amount of speakers.
More stuff to do... that I like, but overall less stuff going on. How about lots of stuff going on but only at the times when I'm not sleeping in late or hanging out with friends because I really just want to camp with friends but I don't want to miss anything good that's going on. Please schedule things more appropriately.
More parties! Stop being such a prude about the public nudity and drugs and late-night noise. Porcfest is about partying! But not after I go to bed. Damn it, I hardly got any sleep this year. Keep people quiet after I go to bed. And don't tell me what to do! I'm an anarchist. Also, please keep it family-friendly. My sister is bringing her kids next year.
Porcfest is too expensive. It should cost less, or really it should be free. Well, okay, maybe not free of course, but at least it could be free if I don't want to go into events and just want to hang out with all the people who showed up because there are events going on that week that they paid for. Also, the campsite is too expensive. Why does Roger's charge us so much when we give them so much business? Also, the campsite is too far away. It should really just be at a different campsite that's big enough, allows concealed carry, nudity, and rampant drug use, is family-friendly, isn't too expensive, and gets no subsidies from the state, and that doesn't get much rain. I hate the rain! Please find a better campsite.
And most importantly of all, thank you so much for all your work! But work harder please, and for free, because it's really all about having fun and money is evil. Thanx again!