NH Underground Radio ad

[Dave Ridley]

Here's a draft of a 30 second ad I'm writing up, targeted at public school's most direct victims.  Thoughts?

---- 

Do you like school ?  Do you look forward to class every day?  If so, this message is not for you.  But if you feel bored, stifled, jailed by your public school...you may be one of us.

*We* are the New Hampshire Underground, America's fastest-growing rebellion.  Our website is NHunderground.com.  Drop by and learn how you can fight back against the government and its jailschool lackeys.   We'll see *you* at NHunderground.com

[AlanM]

Dada,
Not bad, but it is geared, it seems, to the students only, and not at all to the parents. It is the parents who make the decisions concerning their children's education. Not sure how to address the matter to parents.

[Lloyd Danforth]

Yes, needs to have broader appeal.  As you know, I have a radio voice and would be glad to record whatever you come up with.

[Dave Ridley]

Good keep the improvement suggestions coming guys.   What if we were to have high schoolers or college age folks read the thing, maybe a guy and a girl alternating sentences?

[Dave Ridley]

Will process the suggestions to try and incorporate parents...other suggest new drafts if you like.

[candyvynwak]

I disagree about the ad having too restricted an appeal.  We could also create one with a broader appeal at a later date.  However, I feel that we need to target  teens like the bad guys have been doing for years.  Besides, parents will also take note if something sounds like it is luring in their teenager...

[intergraph19]

I like the idea.  I think it has merrit but the wording need to be worked on a bit.  I think it could be made more compelling by saying less.  Leave some mystery.

[Dave Ridley]

Here's a really rough alternate version for brainstorming:

Do you like school ?  Do you look forward to class every day?  If so, this message is not for you.  The New Hampshire Underground is not for you.   Visiting NHunderground.com is not for you.   Do not think about NHunderground.com.  Do not try to dress like NHundergound.com or dance with it.   

Be good   Be quiet.  sit still.

[intergraph19]

Here's a really rough alternate version for brainstorming:

Do you like school ?  Do you look forward to class every day?  If so, this message is not for you.  The New Hampshire Underground is not for you.   Visiting NHunderground.com is not for you.   Do not think about NHunderground.com.  Do not try to dress like NHundergound.com or dance with it.   

Be good   Be quiet.  sit still.

LOL  Perfect!

[John]

Suggest adding "your" . . . Do you like your school?
Perhaps better yet "public" . . . Do you like puplic school?
(Or, Do you like your public school?)


Maybe a little jingle (I can't recall the whole thing right now) in the background:
. . . No more laughing no more fun, now that school time has begun.  If you show your teeth or tongue, you will pay a forfeit.

[John]

Perhaps a plural subtlety gets to both teens and parents at the same time?

Do you like public schools?
Do you like the public schools?
Do you like your public schools?

[Lloyd Danforth]

Here's a really rough alternate version for brainstorming:

Do you like school ?? Do you look forward to class every day?? If so, this message is not for you.? The New Hampshire Underground is not for you.? ?Visiting NHunderground.com is not for you.? ?Do not think about NHunderground.com.? Do not try to dress like NHundergound.com or dance with it.? ?

Be good? ?Be quiet.? sit still.

Great!

Please, Please, Please,....whatever you do, Don't go to the internet and type in:NHunderground.com!

[Russell Kanning]

all good ones

[Russell Kanning]

"your school doesn't want you to know something..."

[candyvynwak]

I like the second one, too, Dave...