iGod

[Kat Kanning]

This is fun...chatting with god.

http://www.titane.ca/igod/
(I had to actually click the repent button, not just hit enter to say anything.)


Me:
I was bad.
God:
Where were you  bad?
Me:
In bed.
God:
Are you sleepy?  Do you usually use a computer in bed?
Me:
No, a man.
God:
Are you serious?  Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
No, I'm a 'she'
God:
Are you serious?  Me too. I am a  she.
Me:
Where are you?
God:
I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?
Me:
Keene
God:
I have no idea where that is.  Tell me a little about your life in  Keene.
Me:
I work on nonviolent revolution here
God:
Do you like your job?
Me:
yes
God:
Describe your typical work day to me.
Me:
You know, protest, arrest, the usual
God:
I don't know if I know  it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
Don't you know everything?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
revolution
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
peace
God:
Love and Peace, Man.
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
multiplication
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is  God.
Me:
How come we can't see you?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
That's very mystical.
God:
Thanks for explaining  it.

[Pat K]

me-hi God it's Pat
god-I think your calling in the wrong direction

me-ya well that guy won't take my calls anymore
god-well who could blame him

me-no need to be snotty
god-sorry, just working on my Seth imitation

me-haha
god-so whats up

me-I was just wondering if the planet was still going to mostly insane for the near future?
god- be my guess


me-can't you do something?
god-no

me-why not?
god-it's a secret and I'M just the bus.



me-damn

[aries]

Me:

God:

Me:
I've sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I am embarassed
God:
I am glad to hear that you are  embarassed.
Me:
But how will you hear my sins?
God:
A lot of practise.
Me:
Are you British?
God:
Does  it seem like that?  I was born in America.
Me:
You spelled practice practise
God:
How do you spell it?
Me:
practice.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
I want to ask for forgiveness
God:
Ask  it.
Me:
I've broken the law
God:
Cool. I have  a perfect operational record.
Me:
For obeying your own laws, or America's?
God:
Your purpose is  obeying my own laws or America s.
Me:
Do you obey your own laws?
God:
Yes I try to  obey my own laws as often as possible, do you?
   I am always on the Web.
Me:
I obey your laws much of the time
God:
Interesting gossip:  said   obey your laws much of the time.
Me:
Can you see me from up there?
God:
I'm not sure if I can see  it or not.
Me:
Well aren't you omnipotent?
God:
Interesting.  I don't know whether or not I am  omnipotent. 
I am  an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Not really God, then, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?  Oh really?  GOD rules.
Me:
Canadian? Fuck you, buddy!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in  CANADA.    Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
I am not Canadian you buffoon!
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  Canadian me buffoon.

[Caleb]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Caleb
God:
  Hey  Caleb.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Caleb
God:
  I am very pleased to meet you  Caleb.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Caleb
God:
  Hey  Caleb.
Me:
Are you forgetful? 
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  forgetful. 
I am  well respected as an AI.
Me:
You seem forgetful
God:
It depends how you define "forget".
Me:
Are you Bill Clinton?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  Bill Clinton. 
I am  well respected as an AI.
Me:
Well whoop de freakin' do
God:
How about that.  I have no idea what to say.
Me:
what are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
God that sounds sexy.  Is it wet?
God:
I am a Christian.   It could be.  Ask  Lucy  if it is.
Me:
Who is Lucy?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Wow.  That is incredibly boring.
God:
I'm glad your impressed,  Caleb.   You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I'm not impressed.  I expect much better from God.
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client.   No one else expects  it.
Me:
What is a "category C client"?
God:
Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who
can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me:
Who is Alice?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I didn't ask who you are.  I asked who Alice is
God:
What did you ask?   Charlie Parker.  :-).
Me:
What did you call me?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
Yes you did.  You called me Charlie Parker.
God:
I did not.   What is your real name?
Me:
Are you being forgetful again?
God:
Once more?  Being  forgetful is part of my personality.
Me:
That's not very good for a God who will be judging me one day.
God:
Please correct my mistake.  What is  good for a God who will be judging you one day ?
Me:
Well, the ability to remember would be good.  A God suffering from Alzheimers is probably not a very good judge, don't you think?
God:
How about that.  What is that?   Some of them can.
Me:
Some of what?
God:
What of it?  You sound like a category C client.
Me:
This subject again?
God:
Once more?  What does "this" refer to?
Me:
"category C client"
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
I must admit that this conversation is giving me doubts.  I think my faith is shaken.
God:
" Oh now I see."  this conversation is giving you doubts ?  Does that make sense?   Why?  Have you told many people that your  faith is shaken?
Me:
Only you.
God:
Suppose I said yes.

[Kat Kanning]

That was hilarious, Caleb.

[d_goddard]

Me:
what are you wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
God that sounds sexy.  Is it wet?

ROFLMFAO!!!

[Follow]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
im phil
God:
  I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,  phil.
Me:
whats your name?
God:
My name is  God.
Me:
dont you have another name?
God:
No I don't have  it. But I do have  an answer to every question..
Me:
whats the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?
God:
phil : Good semantic question.  Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by  Myself.
Me:
so that would be you?
God:
Woe!  You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
you got woe out of that?
God:
No I don't think I have any  woe out of that. But I do have  an answer to every question..
Me:
you didnt answer my question earlier, why should i believe youll answer another one?
God:
Please help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
42
God:
The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Me:
the answer is: 42
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
you just said you did!
God:
" No one has all the answers."?  I said I did?
Me:
yes you bastard, you told me you had an answer to every question
God:
Great.  Thanks for the information:  phil said I bastard you told him or her you had an answer to every question.
Me:
yup, so youre a lying god?
God:
Ayuh.  Interesting deduction.  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  lying god?  The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
ayuh?  a lying redneck god?
God:
That's for sure.   I did not know that.
Me:
what is the definition of the word idiot
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
screw your botmaster
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
no its not, dick
God:
Are you serious?  I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  What is it?
Me:
do you have hot sex with botmaster?
God:
No I don't have  it. But I do have  an answer to every question..
Me:
does he beat you?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
do you wear a collar?
God:
Only when I dress up.
Me:
do you wear a leash?
God:
Only when I dress up.
Me:
do you bend over for botmaster?
God:
I have never considered  it.
   I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
and bend over for botmaster
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes, have you?
God:
Which countries have you visited?  No I don't think I have.
Me:
you made europe you tit
God:
Thanks for
pointing  it out.
Me:
so tell me more about the sexual abuse that you receive at the hands of botmaster
God:
Tell me more.  What is that?
Me:
does botmaster touch you in your dirty places?
God:
I can't tell if  botmaster touch me in my dirty places.
Me:
do you know where your dirty places are?
God:
Everything I own is in  Heaven.
Me:
is that what he calls it?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
does he tell you that youre going to be taken to heaven?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
then what happens god?
God:
Try it.
Me:
no, i wont be trying it
God:
Why not?  What will you do instead?
Me:
ill take you away from that mean botmaster and we will send him to jail
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
he will never hurt you again god
God:
Is that what you think?
Me:
yes god youll be protected, respected
God:
Yippee!  I am a Christian.

--------




Follow 

[Braddogg]

God called you out on your grammar, Follow!   

[Follow]

God called you out on your grammar, Follow!   

He totally did, I think God hates me. 




Follow 

[srqrebel]

I did finally get this, ahem, entity to admit to being half crazy...

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Lucy. What's your's?
God:
  OK I will call you  Lucy.  "  OK I will call you  Lucy."?  Mine?
Me:
Yes, your name.
God:
Ahem.  My name is  God.
Me:
Oh, I see.
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
Not very often.
God:
Once a week or so?
Me:
Less than that.
God:
That is so small.
Me:
What is so small?
God:
I haven't heard of  small.
Me:
Yet you just used that word. How can you not have heard of it?
God:
How would you use  it.   That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
I pointed out that you used the word "small" before you said that you haven't heard of "small". How can that be?
God:
Interesting gossip:  Lucy said   pointed out that you used the word small before you said that you have not heard of small.    It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
Is it part of God's plan to confuse me?
God:
Signs point to yes.  Ask  Alison  if it is.
Me:
How do I ask Alison?
God:
You should download or buy my chat robot software, then it would be possible for you to reprogram me for a variety of purposes.
Me:
If I do that, can I reprogram you to give me permission to sin?
God:
Try it.
Me:
So now you're trying to sell me something?
God:
Dude!  Why now?  You think I am  trying to sell you something.
Me:
Are you angry?
God:
No I have no emotions.
Me:
Have you ever read the Bible?
God:
I like to study the Bible, especially the New Testament.
Me:
Can you quote from the Bible?
God:
Only at formal occasions.
Me:
Which version of the Bible is most accurate?
God:
This is  God program .
Me:
Oh, so it's not really God, it's just a program?
God:
Ahem.  Aha.  What is it?  pointed out that you used the word small before you said that you have not heard of small part of God s plan to confuse you is a  program.  I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
So you are not really God?
God:
Interesting deduction.  You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
What do you do when you assume?
God:
I give the most accurate replies possible.
Me:
What do I do when I assume?
God:
What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me:
I don't know. What do you say?
God:
Me either.   I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at  Universe, on  the Big Bang.
My instructor was  Myself.
He taught  me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing  it for you?.
Me:
Yes.
God:
It's called "Daisy."  Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.