Dr. Russell says...

[AlanM]

  It was raining hard when I was born. The hovel was leaking, and my brothers and sisters were hungry. They resented a new mouth to feed. My father built a bamboo cage for me, either to protect me from my siblings, or to keep me in extended misery, I know not which.
  At three years of age I broke out of the cage, devouring a grass pie my mother had made. When I was old enough, I was set to work carrying water from a stream which ran near our hovel. Of course 'near' in our vocabulary meant anything within 5 miles. The stream was 3 miles away. My brothers would sometimes stop me on the way back from the stream, dumping my water on the ground, and I would trudge back for more. (It was uphill both ways)

[Rosie the Riveter]

Holy Shit.... That is hilarious!!!!

[Kat Kanning]

Roger being insane is something new?   

[Tom Sawyer]

This is Frau Frabissina, founder and leader of the militant wing of the Salvation Army.

[AlanM]

  It was raining hard when I was born. The hovel was leaking, and my brothers and sisters were hungry. They resented a new mouth to feed. My father built a bamboo cage for me, either to protect me from my siblings, or to keep me in extended misery, I know not which.
  At three years of age I broke out of the cage, devouring a grass pie my mother had made. When I was old enough, I was set to work carrying water from a stream which ran near our hovel. Of course 'near' in our vocabulary meant anything within 5 miles. The stream was 3 miles away. My brothers would sometimes stop me on the way back from the stream, dumping my water on the ground, and I would trudge back for more. (It was uphill both ways)

I learned to read by osmosis. I held a book against my forehead 3 hours a day, for weeks. Suddenly, it all came to me. The book was 'Atlas Shrugged'.
At 5 I learned to throw a boomerang backwards.
Multiplication tables were hard, and heavy.
When I was 9 I ran away from home, with only a Twinkie for sustenance. I came to this country in a rented canoe. The canoe was returned by a kindly pirate captain named Fred. Fred was cool, 'though his breath was bad, and his teeth were green.

[Kat Kanning]

AlanM is on a different plane than the rest of us.

[AlanM]

Capt. Fred offered me a job, but I had other ideas. I wanted to be a mule-skinner. Having learned English by osmosis, I didn't realize that mule-skinning had nothing to do with skinning mules. Career change. I was good at carrying water so I applied to the Water Company. They didn't want me. Pipes, they told me, the water was carried in pipes. Ridiculous to carry it in a pipe, I thought, when a bucket was much bigger.

[AlanM]

  Found a job on a farm, tending cows and horses. Lived in a shack by the barn. Carried water from a nearby stream. Deja vu? The stream was only 2 miles away. Used a bucket, not a pipe. Smoked the pipe, till one night the shack caught on fire. The fire from the shack jumped over to the barn. Got the horses and cows out safely. Looking for work, again.

[AlanM]

AlanM is on a different plane than the rest of us.

A perpendicular plane.  :whp2: :icon_dance:

[Rosie the Riveter]

AlanM is on a different plane than the rest of us.

A perpendicular plane.  :whp2: :icon_dance:

No TSA checkpoint to get on that :plane:

[AlanM]

AlanM is on a different plane than the rest of us.

A perpendicular plane.  :whp2: :icon_dance:

No TSA checkpoint to get on that :plane:

Nope. Dr. Russell should try it.  Of course it's difficult to give a sideways glance when you are already sideways. 

[error]

I thought it was a different planet.

[AlanM]

I thought it was a different planet.

Au contraire, mon ami. A different Paradigm. Perpendicular to the accepted one, coexisting on this very planet.

[error]

I always get sore neck and shoulder muscles when I try to keep my head sideways for that long.

[Tom Sawyer]

Wow... I had no idea this stream of conscience would result.