Meditations on Peace on Christmas Day

[Caleb]

I think of forgiveness as trusting someone again - not extraordinary trust, only as much as I would trust a complete stranger - after they caused damage to me.

How would you describe forgiveness?

Well, how much do you "trust" a complete stranger? To me, trust implies something extraordinary. I wouldn't go up to a complete stranger and hand him my wallet, cash and all, and say, "here, watch this for me while I'm gone."  Trust implies that we know something exceptional about the person, or else that we know that the person has such affection for us that he or she won't let us down. So I think forgiveness should return a person to the same state as a "stranger". Otherwise, did you forgive?  Forgiveness is renouncing our bitterness, anger, right to revenge, whatever it is that we are holding against another person. We can't say, "well, I renounce my 'right' to hold this against you, but I'm still going to hold it against you." That's not forgiveness.

If you don't forgive, who do you harm? Mostly yourself, I think.
That's a different issue than trust, which would mean putting the person in a position to harm you again, which would be ridiculous....unless of course they earn your trust again.