Dear New Hampshire....

[KBCraig]

Dear New Hampshire,

I suppose I'll come home when I retire.

It seems that having 20 years of experience, a degree, all the required training and then some, three "Outstanding" annual evaluations in a row (plus two special act awards in the last twelve months), officer of the month in the last six months, zero disciplinary problems (not even investigated) in 20 years... well, it's not even enough to make the best qualified list of candidates for the same job I'm doing now.

So, fuck it all. I quit trying. I'll see you all when I retire.

[cathleeninnh]

I am sorry to hear that. There is one thing missing on your list.... connections.

Cathleen

[KBCraig]

Thanks, Cathleen.

I'm not without connections. I just refuse to play that game.

[Lloyd Danforth]

What, being here with us isn't worth calling in a few favors?
Hi Cathleen!

[KBCraig]

The short version: I'm no longer in a position to move. And that's a good thing, because both of my sons from my first marriage are now reunited with us, and this is their home.

The long version:

• 1988 - Married Melinda
• 1991 - Andy born
• 1994 - Bought a house
• 1995 - Daniel born
• 1998 - Melinda left, moved 120 miles away
• 1999 - Divorced amiably. I kept the house. Continued seeing the boys every weekend, doing all the driving (up to 600 miles per weekend).
• 2000 - Melinda remarried; things still amiable
• 2001 - Met Mary
• 2002 - Married Mary; things went from amiable to out-of-control bad. Effectively cut out of the boys' lives, more and more as time passes.
• 2010, October - Melinda dies unexpectedly. Daniel is still a minor at 15, and I'm his only living parent. Attempts to work out a compromise or smooth transition to my house are met with total opposition by the step-dad.
• 2010, November - Step-dad receives an emergency order of guardianship. Many bad things are said in court, but I am determined to take the high road.
• 2010, December - I tell Daniel I won't make him visit me for Christmas; it's his choice. He says he won't.
• 2011 Spring Semester - Andy is suffering from stress and mourning, and doing poorly in college. Step-dad demands he return home to go to a lesser college; Andy declines. Step-dad boots him out, cuts all ties, changes the locks on the house. Andy thinks he had burned his bridges with me and has nowhere to go; winds up in the hospital.
• 2011, two weeks later: having been notified by his roommate, we have been seeing Andy at every opportunity until he is released from the hospital. His treatment plan: living with us.
• 2011, December - Step-dad gives up trying to be a father. Calls me, tells me Daniel has to go after his semester tests.

December 21, 2011: whole family reunited. Things are good. Feeling a little vindicated for the decision to not force a short-term relationship, and to stay out of the courts unless ordered there.

Oh, and the step-dad? He decorated for Christmas, and hung one stocking: his own. Way to tell a kid he's not wanted any more, asshole.

[Kat Kanning]

You're getting your son back, how wonderful! 

[KBCraig]

It's the best Christmas I could ever hope for. 

This will be our 10th Christmas together, and for the first time we'll have all the kids here in the house Christmas morning -- our five, plus our wonderful daughter-in-law.

[Pat K]