On the Island of Long: a toilet tax

[KBCraig]

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/20/cash-strapped-nassau-county-goes-after-19-school-districts-with-toilet-tax/

EAST WILLISTON, N.Y. (CBSNewYork) — Schools in Nassau County have joined together to try and flush away a new fee they say will literally drain their budgets.

Every flush in every school could soon cost taxpayers, thanks to a new sewer use fee.

....Wheatley School, which doesn't even have sewers.

"We have septic tanks and the water seeps into the ground," Kamberg said.

[Jim Johnson]

But if you use one drop of water, that affects the entire world ecosystem, so the entire world should benefit from that big turd factory you call a butt. 
You could take yourself out of the system by recycling your waste, i.e. 'Dune survival suit', or the 2 liter plastic bottle system ala 'Speed Freak Steve' in the van down by the river.
...but apparently if you remove yourself from the system you'll be in violation of the interstate commerce clause.

I can see a toilet vouture system on the horizon where each child is allowed one crap per day and no one flushes after peeing.  This will lead to multiple crapping and plugged toilets.  And no one is going to follow Stinky Steve in to the toilets because he always a double flush but he doesn't have the vouchers.

[Pat K]

Just one of many, many taxes, fee's, permits..........

[Tom Sawyer]

"Ohhhhh... may I please use your bathroom... I have to go really badly!"

"Wait a minute there buddy... you have to file this environmental impact statement... in triplicate."

[sandm000]

But if you use one drop of water, that affects the entire world ecosystem, so the entire world should benefit from that big turd factory you call a butt. 
You could take yourself out of the system by recycling your waste, i.e. 'Dune survival suit', or the 2 liter plastic bottle system ala 'Speed Freak Steve' in the van down by the river.
...but apparently if you remove yourself from the system you'll be in violation of the interstate commerce clause.

I can see a toilet vouture system on the horizon where each child is allowed one crap per day and no one flushes after peeing.  This will lead to multiple crapping and plugged toilets.  And no one is going to follow Stinky Steve in to the toilets because he always a double flush but he doesn't have the vouchers.

I just deliver it to the offices of the government, I mean if they think they can tell me how often I can go to the bathroom, they'll know what to do with it when I have to go more often. So I put it in cardboard boxes, tied shut with a brown ribbon.

[doobie]

The government has found ways to tax natural bodily functions.  Who would have thought!

[Lloyd Danforth]

But if you use one drop of water, that affects the entire world ecosystem, so the entire world should benefit from that big turd factory you call a butt. 
You could take yourself out of the system by recycling your waste, i.e. 'Dune survival suit', or the 2 liter plastic bottle system ala 'Speed Freak Steve' in the van down by the river.
...but apparently if you remove yourself from the system you'll be in violation of the interstate commerce clause.

I can see a toilet vouture system on the horizon where each child is allowed one crap per day and no one flushes after peeing.  This will lead to multiple crapping and plugged toilets.  And no one is going to follow Stinky Steve in to the toilets because he always a double flush but he doesn't have the vouchers.

Restaurants could offer vouchers to patrons to get them in on slow nights.

[KBCraig]

"Ohhhhh... may I please use your bathroom... I have to go really badly!"

"Wait a minute there buddy... you have to file this environmental impact statement... in triplicate."

Some folks on Long Island creater a larger-than-average environmental impact when they go potty.

Or walk.

[Jim Johnson]

But if you use one drop of water, that affects the entire world ecosystem, so the entire world should benefit from that big turd factory you call a butt. 
You could take yourself out of the system by recycling your waste, i.e. 'Dune survival suit', or the 2 liter plastic bottle system ala 'Speed Freak Steve' in the van down by the river.
...but apparently if you remove yourself from the system you'll be in violation of the interstate commerce clause.

I can see a toilet vouture system on the horizon where each child is allowed one crap per day and no one flushes after peeing.  This will lead to multiple crapping and plugged toilets.  And no one is going to follow Stinky Steve in to the toilets because he always a double flush but he doesn't have the vouchers.

Restaurants could offer vouchers to patrons to get them in on slow nights.

So, you want the Chilly Burrito Plate with extra onions?  It comes with two flushes.  Did you want the four flush special?  The chef recommends it.

No thank you.  I printed a crappen coupon from crappenintown.com.  That's how I found your place, through crappenintown.com.

Don't get caught crappen in an ally or one of those places like in 'Slumdog Millionaire'. 
Use crappenintown.com... and be prepared.

[Free libertarian]

Finally a win for the anal retentive.   

[Russell Kanning]

it always bothered me tin Keene if you used one gallon of water on your yard half the charge was for the stinkin waste water system

[Lloyd Danforth]

I lived for a short time in Bullhead City, AZ. They charged for sewer services based on water usage. Nobody had a lawn. Across the river in Laughlin, NV they didn't, and people grew lawns, at least,  to the extent that it was possible.

[KBCraig]

it always bothered me tin Keene if you used one gallon of water on your yard half the charge was for the stinkin waste water system

In my town the sewer is actually more than the water. The adjoining town --same water system, same sewer system-- charges a flat rate for sewer, so that it doesn't spike as much when you water your lawn or garden.

[Russell Kanning]

apple valley california used to charge 4 times as much for water and its neighbors victorville and hesperia
you could almost see the "green line" as you crossed over the imaginary political border no grass no swimming pools