Homeless Couple Found Living In Walmart Attic With Hot Plate, Meth Lab, And 42?

[Silent_Bob]

http://now8news.com/homeless-couple-found-living-in-walmart-attic/

Memphis, Tennessee –  Being homeless has to be very difficult, especially in the colder times of the year. But not for this Tennessee couple who had been "living in the lap of luxury" above a Tennessee Walmart store. The 'homeless' man, 48-year-old Wilbert Thomas, admitted to police that he and his girlfriend 54-year-old Ingrid Malone, had been living above the store for over two years. What they did to the attic, baffled police and store employees.

"I don't mean to laugh, but these people really got one over on Walmart," said Lieut. Marshall Weiss. "In the attic, we recovered 2 pounds of meth they had somehow produced on a hot plate. They also managed to get food, drinks, mini refrigerator, a big screen TV, surround sound system, bedroom set, hangers, clothes... I mean, if Walmart sells it they had it. These people were living good. They even managed to splice into the satellite TV wire and ordered NFL Sunday ticket!"

The couple was discovered when employees in the break room heard banging from above. Apparently the couple was engaging in intercourse when the new headboard to their queen sized bed, which they also took from the store, was banging against one of the attic dividers. During Thomas's confession, he also admitted stealing K-Y Jelly Yours+Mine which he says "screwed up everything and got us busted."

[KBCraig]

Walmart doesn't have attics.

As for "now8news dot com", here are their recent posts:

Starbucks Employee Arrested After Woman Takes "Huge Gulp Of Semen" While Drinking Coffee
Woman Stabs Boyfriend 5 Times After She Finds Him Having Sex With A Turkey Carcass
Babysitter Discovers 'Clown Doll' In Kid's Room Was A Real Person, Raping The Child At Night
McDonald's Will Stop Serving Happy Meals To Obese Children Beginning 1/1/16
Mom Feeds Toddlers Penis Shaped Gummy Bears Without Paying For Them, Has Guns
You Won't Believe What Was In Her McDonald's Mayo, "The Texture Was Familiar"
Homeless Couple Found Living In Walmart Attic With Hot Plate, Meth Lab, And 42? LED TV
ALERT: NASA Confirms Earth Will Go Dark For 8 Days In December 2015 #Darkness2015
CDC Warns: Hair Bands From China Made Of Used Condoms, Could Spread STD's
Alabama Man Arrested For Molesting Chihuahua In PetSmart Bathroom On Adoption Day

[eglove]

The worst part, whoever built this site, which looks terrible visually, knows a little about what they're doing on the backend. I really hope it's just someone's experiment/side project. "Let's see how many people will believe this crap! Also, I bet I can get tons of views!"

[Russell Kanning]

yea what a goofy story .... maybe a dream scenario for this guy

[Free libertarian]

yea what a goofy story .... maybe a dream scenario for this guy

  Living the dream, a penthouse at Walmart. 

[Russell Kanning]

when we were delivering walmart trailers to the stores ..... I thought of them as our own really big fridges to pick out food from