Broken hearts suck.

[Caleb]

Friends. Family. And Time.

Although it doesn't feel like it now, it will pass.  One day. Some days you'll think you've broken through, and then the next day you'll be sobbing all over again.  Enjoy the good moments, but don't despise the bad ones. Feel everything. You're not wrong to love. 

[kola]

Caeb?

namechange?

[Kat Kanning]

I'm betting all my money on the fact that Kate is more attractive than Mackler.   

You can insult me all you want.  It doesn't change the validity of what I said.  Fact is I'm the only person here (with the exception of those suggesting exercise) who has advised Kate to take concrete steps that will get her mind off of what's making her unhappy rather than suggesting she mope around, wallowing in her own depression, and telling her "It's okay to be depressed, honey.  It's too soon for you to be happy.  You need to obsess on your loneliness for a few more months before you're ready to have a life again."  F--- that attitude.  Life is for being happy today.  Go get it now!

You want to cure a broken heart? That's how you do it.  If you've got some other agenda, then yeah, you should sit around making lists of reasons why you need to be alone.  Have fun.   

Humor Mackler, you know that stuff that makes you smile. 

[porcupine kate]

Friends. Family. And Time.

Although it doesn't feel like it now, it will pass.  One day. Some days you'll think you've broken through, and then the next day you'll be sobbing all over again.  Enjoy the good moments, but don't despise the bad ones. Feel everything. You're not wrong to love. 

This is what is driving me crazy.  I'm OK one moment, angry another, and crying the next.  It is uncomfortable being on this emotional roller coaster.

I'm not worried about being depressed and wallowing over it.  I know how to fight depression.  This isn't the same.  I haven't been this spun about since I was a teenager.  I can't keep it in and that is why I want every bodies suggestions on ways to cope.

[Caleb]

 

I'm so sorry, Kate. None of this is fair. I think not being alone is really the best thing. At least it was for me. It won't make it nice and wonderful, but it will remind you that there are people who really do care about you.

[kola]

Kate, the rollercoaster ride is a reality and its normal..ya just gotta ride it out. trust me, it gets less and less frequent.

After my split up, i would be out and about and doing fine and at any given moment (ie eating dinner with friends) I would get this horrible feeling and have to leave. I would rush out of the house, break down and cry and just drive around until it passed. Or I would just drive home and crawl into bed.

the holidays are always quite a challenge so brace yourself for those days. Hopefully by the big ones (thanksgiving and christmas) you will be doing lots better.

maybe do some sleep-overs and/or take on a roomie.

better days to come.

kola

[Raineyrocks]

Friends. Family. And Time.

Although it doesn't feel like it now, it will pass.  One day. Some days you'll think you've broken through, and then the next day you'll be sobbing all over again.  Enjoy the good moments, but don't despise the bad ones. Feel everything. You're not wrong to love. 

This is what is driving me crazy.  I'm OK one moment, angry another, and crying the next.  It is uncomfortable being on this emotional roller coaster.

I'm not worried about being depressed and wallowing over it.  I know how to fight depression.  This isn't the same.  I haven't been this spun about since I was a teenager.  I can't keep it in and that is why I want every bodies suggestions on ways to cope.

Hi Kate,

I don't know you but I am pretty sure I know what situation your upset over through the posts I read not to long ago.  You probably feel like your losing grip on your very own reality, right?   I was kicked out of my house by my mother when I was 19 yrs old.  She met me at the door when I came home from work with 3 black trash bags and a 12 page "garbage" letter and I was told I was not welcome to come in.  Well my 14 month old daughter was in "there" and I was told she would not be going with me that my mother and twin sister were keeping her.  Talk about a head spinning, heartbreak!  I'm not minimizing your situation by talking about mine.   I'm trying to let you know from what I went through that I'm pretty sure I can imagine what your going through especially with your description of your emotions that you wrote.

I figured it my daughter was mine and they had no right to keep from me, wrong!  The cops I called said unless I had a custody paper I had no rights to my own daughter.  I don't want to get into everything that led to me being kicked out because this post isn't all about me but I can tell you I did not deserve what happened.

I couldn't function properly, I would ball my eyes out at work and I had this constant heartache like a 100 pound brick in my heart, it hurt to breath and it hurt to be alive without my daughter.  I know your situation isn't the same but the hurt your feeling seems to me to be similar. There were lots of times I hating waking up because I knew I would be facing another day of heart break.  The angry feelings towards my mother and sister were intense too.
 
Your going through your life like normal, everything is okay and then all of the sudden you get a whammy that throws you for a loop.  People or in your case a person you thought you could trust and everything is going along fine stabs you in the back like an enemy would.  You wonder if you've ever really known this person at all and ask yourself what's wrong with me, was it something I did or didn't do and I can assure you it has nothing to do with that stuff.  Some people are selfish and heartless and would rather have what they think they want despite who it hurts.   Sometimes we can think we really, really, know a person too and then you find out that yeah you knew them but not as well as you thought you did.

Someone had mentioned in this thread that nothing happens without a reason and I agree.  Your not going to see that reason for awhile though and then puzzle pieces will start to fit and you will end up seeing the reason most of the time anyway.  Of course your emotions are bouncing all over the place your life has just been turned upside down and you've been stabbed in the back by someone you trusted.  I hope you know I'm not saying that in a callous way and you already know it's true anyway. I don't think there's anyway to avoid these feelings your going through no matter what and I hope they pass quickly for your sake because I feel so sad to see what your writing here.  I doubt anyone is going to have the just right thing to say or do because your probably so hurt you don't want to hear logic and people are right that in time it will hurt less but to you right now it probably feels like the hurt will never end.

I'm sorry but I don't have much advice because I don't really know of anything that will really help your pain,  except to realize the emotions your going through are okay, your not losing your mind.  Keeping busy is smart and it seems like you are doing that but make sure that you give yourself time to grieve and don't let all of the emotions build up inside of you. Like Caleb wrote, (feel everything).  If your sad cry, if your mad punch something, try to deal with the emotions as they come and let yourself feel them so they can get out and go away.

Maybe you could do something you've never done before like jogging in the rain, (I don't know), but maybe it will help you to see some kind of new beginning instead of focusing on a miserable ending.  I see that your involved with a lot of stuff right now but don't forget to take care of yourself too!

[Raineyrocks]

Kate, the rollercoaster ride is a reality and its normal..ya just gotta ride it out. trust me, it gets less and less frequent.

After my split up, i would be out and about and doing fine and at any given moment (ie eating dinner with friends) I would get this horrible feeling and have to leave. I would rush out of the house, break down and cry and just drive around until it passed. Or I would just drive home and crawl into bed.

the holidays are always quite a challenge so brace yourself for those days. Hopefully by the big ones (thanksgiving and christmas) you will be doing lots better.

maybe do some sleep-overs and/or take on a roomie.

better days to come.

kola

  Your very sweet Kola and I'm glad you made it through your hard times.  You seem to have come out of them a wiser person except the big butt thing!

[kola]

kate, i know this is a difficult question but have you thought of this:

what would you do if bill decided he wanted you back?

i ask because this sometimes happens.

in my case, after 3 months (and after filing for divorce) my ex wanted me back. It was too late and my biggest heartaches were over and I never wanted to go through that again....and after all the hurt she caused, I was no longer in love with her.

kola

[kola]

rainey..i like "plump" butts not HUGE ones...specifically,  i like little boobs and big hips.,,and brown eyes and dark long hair...and i will never date any more girls with the astrological sign of Leo. Gemini and Leo is bad bad bad..and for some reason I am always attracted to them.

but hey..i cant be too choosey.

off topic..sorry.

kola

[Jim Johnson]

There is no fairness.

When my Mom's second husband died, my Aunt said to me, "It's just not fair....".
There is no fairness in these cases, my father died from a polio inoculation and step father died of a heart attack.
Mom expected that she would have kids and grow old with my father... she expected to at least grow old with step father.

You basically expected the same from Bill.

If my mother had expected my father to die, or at least excepted that that could happen, she would not have been totally devastated, it would still have been sad, but it would not have stopped her life.

You have a choice...
You can let what happened eat you from the inside out and let it negatively affect everything you do from here on out.
Or...
You can adjust your expectations, redirect any negativity towards other goals and be happy without any regrets.

Everybody gets crashing failures and the fact that Bill is alive and could have made other decitions should not affect what you do as a result.

As the only person who has been PatK for a day, PatK would have wanted me to show you this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96HqPpjI3UY

[Raineyrocks]

rainey..i like "plump" butts not HUGE ones...specifically,  i like little boobs and big hips.,,and brown eyes and dark long hair...and i will never date any more girls with the astrological sign of Leo. Gemini and Leo is bad bad bad..and for some reason I am always attracted to them.

but hey..i cant be too choosey.

off topic..sorry.

kola

I was just joking!    Oh my gosh if you put big boobs aside I had a girlfriend that would've been perfect for you physically speaking, she was born sometime in December so I don't know what sign she is.  Oh well you don't live near her anyway.

[kola]

LOL

donny osmond, the white Michael Jackson. 

what sux is that I used to like that song...jeesh 

they stole elvis's outfits.

[kola]

rainey..i like "plump" butts not HUGE ones...specifically,  i like little boobs and big hips.,,and brown eyes and dark long hair...and i will never date any more girls with the astrological sign of Leo. Gemini and Leo is bad bad bad..and for some reason I am always attracted to them.

but hey..i cant be too choosey.

off topic..sorry.

kola

I was just joking!    Oh my gosh if you put big boobs aside I had a girlfriend that would've been perfect for you physically speaking, she was born sometime in December so I don't know what sign she is.  Oh well you don't live near her anyway.

December is Sagitarius the archer. My best guyfriend is a Sag..we are like blood bros.
I am still wondering where that old rich lady is that your husband knew.

[Raineyrocks]

rainey..i like "plump" butts not HUGE ones...specifically,  i like little boobs and big hips.,,and brown eyes and dark long hair...and i will never date any more girls with the astrological sign of Leo. Gemini and Leo is bad bad bad..and for some reason I am always attracted to them.

but hey..i cant be too choosey.

off topic..sorry.

kola

I was just joking!    Oh my gosh if you put big boobs aside I had a girlfriend that would've been perfect for you physically speaking, she was born sometime in December so I don't know what sign she is.  Oh well you don't live near her anyway.

December is Sagitarius the archer. My best guyfriend is a Sag..we are like blood bros.
I am still wondering where that old rich lady is that your husband knew.

I can't believe you still think about that!  Your hilarious!  He really doesn't remember, sorry, she might be dead by now that was a long time ago.