Insufferable Weird Dream Thread

[dalebert]

I fell asleep, the alarm clock went off and I got up.

How do you make it through the night? I usually walk out halfway through really boring movies.

[Pat K]

Ha I had a dream last night and you were in it Dale.

Along with all the rest of the usual suspects.

I had bought a house in NH and was having a party.
We were having a good time, thats about it.
Except for (this here is Jim's territory) I remember
Dale telling me I could not paint my living room green
and I was laughing ..........

[dalebert]

I had bought a house in NH and was having a party.
We were having a good time, thats about it.
Except for (this here is Jim's territory) I remember
Dale telling me I could not paint my living room green
and I was laughing ..........

I will take a stab at being the swami Jim.

The party is obviously a reference to politics and you were having a good time which means you miss doing politics.

Green is the color of money, so I was warning you against appearing to be wealthy and attracting burglers. Common sense, of course.

And you were laughing even though it's not funny because you actually want an excuse to shoot intruders.

Also, something about your parents.

I... I think I suck at this.

[Pat K]

 

[Jim Johnson]

Go ahead and laugh Pat K, but Dale is right, I'm not having any green rooms in my territory.

[Pat K]

Every rooms gonna be green now.

[Jim Johnson]

bitch

[Pat K]

 

[KBCraig]

I don't remember what the rest of the dream was about, but somehow I wound up taking a massive dump that required some toilet cleaning. Somehow, suddenly, there was a crowd around waiting on the toilet, and I'm trying to scrub away a vile mess with an odd-looking toilet brush.

Someone reminded us that we needed to thank the toilet brush inventor, so everyone gave a sing-song "Thaaank you, Doctor Lloyd!" like a bunch of school children.

That would Mr. Danforth, postgraduate plumbing device inventor.

[Jim Johnson]

I don't remember what the rest of the dream was about, but somehow I wound up taking a massive dump that required some toilet cleaning. Somehow, suddenly, there was a crowd around waiting on the toilet, and I'm trying to scrub away a vile mess with an odd-looking toilet brush.

Someone reminded us that we needed to thank the toilet brush inventor, so everyone gave a sing-song "Thaaank you, Doctor Lloyd!" like a bunch of school children.

That would Mr. Danforth, postgraduate plumbing device inventor.

That odd-looking toilet brush didn't happen to look like a computer key board did it?

[dalebert]

I was in a car with three other people and some sort of money exchange is about to take place with some friends of ours in another car, nothing illegal but it would likely appear so at a glance. It's not an enormous sum; maybe between one and two thousand dollars. One of the people is a close friend. The other two are a couple I don't know very well. A police car or two show up and suddenly, the couple in the front seat are driving us quickly away, not peeling out but fast enough that I'm wondering if it will attract the attention of the cop cars, and I'm hoping it does because my friend and I are being kidnapped. I can't remember the details but I think it's over the money but also some other stuph. I do know it catches me by surprise so the money exchange was not about the kidnapping, which is new. At some point, this person I am in the dream, this character, recollects memories of some other people associated with the couple who want us killed and I realize I'm in a life-threatening situation.

As we're pulling up to their apartment, not very far away, it occurs to me that my phone is in my pocket and they aren't paying much attention. I'm trying to pull up my friends who we were supposed to meet and fire off a very quick text, like "kidnapped!" or something. I'm almost caught trying to do this though they're still distracted so instead I press and hold the "1" key which I had heard defaults to dialing 911 on cell phones.

Shortly, we are in the apt and my phone is making noises. There is a recorded voice saying something about whether I meant to call 911. I'm trying to click "END" before they hear it but it's not working. The guy, who has a sidearm holstered, looks over but the girlfriend comes over to check on it when she realizes I can't make my phone shut up. I'm playing dumb like I have no idea why it's doing this and they're kinda buying it—at least they haven't figured out that I initiated this.

She takes me into another room as she takes my phone from me looking at it. It's a smartphone and there's a map on it zeroing in on our location. I explain that I can't get it to shut off or hang up, still playing dumb about why it's doing this like they initiated it with tips from my friends who were expecting us and saw us rush off. In my mind I think it's a combo of the two—that I called 911 and my friends have explained to the police that something was fishy and they've figured out we were kidnapped. She seems surprisingly not as upset as I would expect and it gradually dawns on me that she's not with her boyfriend 100% and she's letting it happen and wants the police to show up.

We're in the other room now and has a couple of glass walls or large glass windows to the outside and I can see police cars pulling up and cops getting out. I'm about to try to get their attention quietly, so the boyfriend won't hear by waving my arms or something when I realize they're coming this way and they see me and are drawing their guns.

In no time, they're inside, a lot of them, and one has a gun in my face which scares the shit out of me and I'm lying down on the floor with my hands over my head. I get cuffed and I'm actually crying, a little from the relief that the kidnapping has been foiled, but mixed in is the fear of having a gun in my face that for all I know is still pointed at me. I'm just trying to calm down and it seems an officer is trying to calm me down as well and I'm just waiting for them to get everyone restrained and feel in control so they can sort out who the kidnappers and the kidnappees are.

It only gradually dawns on me that the cop on my back who I thought was restraining me and calming me is dry-humping me. I actually stop crying, look around and see this chunky cop and confront him about it. There's a lady not in uniform, presumably an admit type, squatted down next to me and they both are laughing about it like "What are you gonna do about it?" He's continuing. It's an act of humiliation. I don't think the guy even has an erection.

"Are you seriously dry-humping me?"

They both just kind of giggle about it. Meanwhile there are other cops around as well who must be witnessing it. I wait for them to ignore me a bit longer before pointing out that I'm not a criminal. I'm a victim. Their faces immediately change and get more serious and he stops. I'm uncuffed. I go rapidly from fear and crying to rage. I'm not screaming but I am raising my voice.

"So you thought it was okay to do that to a criminal? That I had no rights?" I left out "innocent until proven guilty". It's felt pointless. But I said I was filing for sexual harrassment, then caught myself and realized that probably wasn't the term but whatever, and was laughed off. Unsurprisingly, they were showing complete solidarity toward this guy, but many of them looked really guilty, the woman witness in particular. She was more than okay with it when they'd assumed I was a criminal, but as they realized I was a victim, they were realizing it was a mistake but feeling above any consequences because they were cops.

I swore to everyone there that I was going to file a lawsuit which they didn't seem afraid of, but I also swore I was going to raise a stink everywhere and that everyone would know that cop was a pervert. That seemed to at least shut up their laughing and they were looking at me now in a different manner, like maybe this was going to be a problem. I was only just starting to wonder what actions they might be willing to take to discredit me or shut me up when I woke up. It took a surprising few long moments for it to gradually sink in that it was just a dream. I realized I had been talking in another man's voice, inflections, and mannerisms. I was handling it in a manner very different than how I, myself, would likely handle it. My voice was deeper and with a fairly thick New England accent. I was definitely not me in the dream, though it seemed like a little bit of me bled in.

My ears were ringing. It took a good half hour for that to die down. It's hard to convey just how powerful this dream felt. It wasn't that it was a particularly detailed or vivid dream, and I don't know how much that's because I just don't recall all the details, but the emotions in it were intense and sincere.

[dalebert]

I saw a beautiful mansion off in the distance and I pointed out to those standing around me, including Barack Obama, that it reminded me of a mansion I have frequently seen in my dreams (didn't know I was dreaming). It was very familiar. I've dreamed about it before and it seems real, as if I've seen it IRL before or maybe just had dreams so vivid that it seems like I have. It feels like it's supposed to be mine and should be mine some day.

Then Ian McKellen started chanting something as he sort of pushed me down into a lying position and it was putting me into a trance--I couldn't open my eyes or move. He said we all have different powers. He was lying on top of me and I think he molested me a little, but I think the idea was he was helping me to channel my powers in some way so that I could get my mansion somehow, whatever that takes. Maybe it means coming into a lot of money somehow. That's odd though because I don't really care that much about being rich. Sure it would be nice, but it's not something I would go to great efforts to attain.

[Jim Johnson]

Did the mansion have one really tall pillar with two round blue grass gardens?  Cause that's the mansion that that girl in my dream tries to help me find.

I don't think I'd every point out 'The Mansion in My Dreams' to Barrack Obama, but then Barrack Obama doesn't have to ask his daughters if it's OK for big white hetero males to marry some woman.

[Lloyd Danforth]

I don't remember what the rest of the dream was about, but somehow I wound up taking a massive dump that required some toilet cleaning. Somehow, suddenly, there was a crowd around waiting on the toilet, and I'm trying to scrub away a vile mess with an odd-looking toilet brush.

Someone reminded us that we needed to thank the toilet brush inventor, so everyone gave a sing-song "Thaaank you, Doctor Lloyd!" like a bunch of school children.

That would Mr. Danforth, postgraduate plumbing device inventor.

I lived for years not too far from the Fuller Brush Company

[Tom Sawyer]

Fuller Brush man... Milkman... Good Humor man...

Kind of miss those guys.