HUMOR

[Kat Kanning]

LOL!

[cathleeninnh]

1. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

  Frostbite.

2. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

  A Nervous Wreck.

3. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
  Anyone Can Roast Beef. Can you pea soup?

4. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
  Right Where You Left Him.

5. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
  Because They Have Big Fingers.

6. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
  Because It Scares The Dog.

7. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
  Sanka.

8. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
  The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

9. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
  Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

10. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
  A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

11. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
  Somebody's Gonna' Lose A Trailer.

[Lloyd Danforth]

 

[Tunga]

Sign in a BMW shop:

If Harley made an airplane,
would you fly on it?


Whats the difference between a rose and a BMW?

With a rose, the prick is on the outside.

[KBCraig]

[KBCraig]

[Lloyd Danforth]

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy
looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to
you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you
be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."

The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street
did you live on in Dublin?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary
Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith, it's a small world, so did I! So did I!! And
to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."

The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what
year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see, I graduated in 1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I
can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar

tonight. Can youbelieve it - I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964

my own self."

About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a
beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head &mutters,
"It's going to be a long night tonight!!!!"

Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"

"The Kelly twins are drunk again."

[Kat Kanning]

 

[Tunga]

Do you know why God gave us Beer?


To keep the Irish from ruling the world.

[Lloyd Danforth]

I went into the 7-11 gas station today and
asked for five dollars worth of gas.
   The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

[Lloyd Danforth]

Who is the poorest person in West Virginia?

[Ron Helwig]

Who is the poorest person in West Virginia?

Senator Byrd?

He's just the poorest excuse for a person 

[Pat McCotter]

Who is the poorest person in West Virginia?

Tooth fairy.

[Lloyd Danforth]

Bastard!!!!

[Pat McCotter]

I have a father and mother - and they are married!


Well, they were!!!! before I was born!!!